Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻

@gothamcitymayor.bsky.social

400 followers 630 following 2K posts

Texan, educator, and nice curmudgeon. #zeitgang #MFFL #DallasWings 🇵🇸 🌎 Chicago, IL

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻 @gothamcitymayor.bsky.social · Aug 24

My favorite Greek myth is the one where the hero defeats the monster, but then the monster starts a podcast.

3 29 82

Reposted by Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻

I'mWinters✂️SerialMom @imwintersmom.bsky.social · Apr 23

Wendy's just asked if I wanted a bun with my chicken sandwich

I was confused

41 57 390

Reposted by Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻

xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 3d

Being a lighthouse keeper is really all about beard maintenance, oh and your relationship with Steve, the seagull.

5 14

Reposted by Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻

I'mWinters✂️SerialMom @imwintersmom.bsky.social · Aug 6

Got a raise so now I'll only be really poor

16 60 360

Reposted by Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻

Brynnester @brynnester.bsky.social · Aug 26

[Second day as a Kamikaze pilot]

Boss: Can I see you in my office for a second, Bryn?

7 58 250

Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻 @gothamcitymayor.bsky.social · 2h

He also looks like the love child of Josh Radnor and Justin Bieber.

Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻 @gothamcitymayor.bsky.social · 2h

Some people wear their heart on their sleeve. I went with eight unrelated symbols and a ladder.

1 2 3

Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻 @gothamcitymayor.bsky.social · 3h

I’ve designed a new escape room. The door is unlocked. The real challenge is overcoming the societal conditioning that makes you think it isn’t.

3 8

Reposted by Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻

GᵣₐbₜₕₑInflatableWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 13h

When Bsky finally implodes, and we all go our separate ways, I'll just head back to Amazon where I scream that all the other reviews are fake.

2 12 39

Reposted by Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻

Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 15h

I’ve convinced myself that a slice of carrot cake equals 1 serving of vegetables.

4 15 49

Reposted by Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻

Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 4d

*takes a drag off a cigarette* I remember when I had a favorite notification

2 40 81

Reposted by Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻

DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 3h

i shouldn’t be allowed access to Temu without passing a breathalyzer

2 12 38

Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻 @gothamcitymayor.bsky.social · 3h

My therapist says I have a "God complex." I told her to get on her knees and repeat that.

1 1

Reposted by Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻

Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · 6d

Don’t threaten me with a good time. I’ll cum.

3 28 130

Reposted by Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻

mindi @flawdbizkit.bsky.social · 3h

the irony does the ironing as karma takes the wheel

6 20

Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻 @gothamcitymayor.bsky.social · 3h

The real horror of Frankenstein's Monster wasn't the reanimation, but the monster's search history afterward.

3 3

Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻 @gothamcitymayor.bsky.social · 3h

I'm not saying my plan is foolproof, but it does involve a fool, and it has been proven, mostly in court.

1 2

Reposted by Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻

(spoo)key 👻 @kmillz.lol · 15h

[james bond voice]

the name’s goose. silly goose.

37 120

Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻 @gothamcitymayor.bsky.social · 11h

My love language is predictive text.

4 11

Reposted by Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻

Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻 @gothamcitymayor.bsky.social · Feb 9

You vs. The guy she tells you not to worry about

1 1

Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻 @gothamcitymayor.bsky.social · 13h

Using influence the way god and exxon intended.

Reposted by Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻

Tippi Hedren Collider @linanneblack.bsky.social · 15h

Get stuffed [seasonal]

19 53

Reposted by Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻

alboo @captainacab.airbud.website · 15h

jason aldeen playing “try that in a small town” at the riyadh music festival

2 12 96

Reposted by Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻

d.ly @dly.bsky.social · 18h

anyone wanna

A horoscope for D that says “oil your friendships”

18 22 200

Reposted by Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻

@GotDiva @gotdiva.bsky.social · 14h

1 6 5

Reposted by Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻

GᵣₐbₜₕₑInflatableWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · Aug 31

Garfield, eating deceased Jon's face:

Holy shit, he really does taste like lasagna.

1 9 24