GOOBER © (Official)
@goober.bsky.social
culture war veteran 3 tours. simper fi hoo rah
guineas world record holder for flop posting 🏅
Pfp alt text: Marjorie Taylor Greene with a comically large mouth
Header alt text: Uhaul logo but it says "uhhhhhh"
He/Him
guineas world record holder for flop posting 🏅
Pfp alt text: Marjorie Taylor Greene with a comically large mouth
Header alt text: Uhaul logo but it says "uhhhhhh"
He/Him
Pinned
piss a mile in my pants
homophobic journalist at pride fest trying to get the facts straight
November 12, 2025 at 6:14 PM
homophobic journalist at pride fest trying to get the facts straight
birthday borealis for me yesterday in kansas. what an awesome gift
November 12, 2025 at 2:23 PM
birthday borealis for me yesterday in kansas. what an awesome gift
seth rogen here joe rogan's taller brother. check out this incense set im selling from my company house plant. this lowly priced incense holder is made of African mud and the incense are cones made of caribou shit. get the set today for an affordable $489.99
November 10, 2025 at 6:52 AM
seth rogen here joe rogan's taller brother. check out this incense set im selling from my company house plant. this lowly priced incense holder is made of African mud and the incense are cones made of caribou shit. get the set today for an affordable $489.99
hey wanna go back to my house and cook some pb&j's?
November 9, 2025 at 6:47 AM
hey wanna go back to my house and cook some pb&j's?
yall ever just be having a bad morning then drop your fucking sock in the toilet? good thing there wasn't a gun within 4 feet of me or id be missing the top of my skull rn
November 6, 2025 at 4:46 PM
yall ever just be having a bad morning then drop your fucking sock in the toilet? good thing there wasn't a gun within 4 feet of me or id be missing the top of my skull rn
dr diagnosed me with not being able to stop making and eating pb&j's
November 6, 2025 at 7:28 AM
dr diagnosed me with not being able to stop making and eating pb&j's
wouldnt it be funny if the aliens were like "we use the metric system" then the usa was like fuck that and we shot em then exploited them for profit?
November 6, 2025 at 5:21 AM
wouldnt it be funny if the aliens were like "we use the metric system" then the usa was like fuck that and we shot em then exploited them for profit?
this is honestly one my best thoughts and its going to be an a24 movie
you die, then the two sonic guys in the car start pounding your asshole as you realize the afterlife is whatever you wanted it to be
November 6, 2025 at 4:46 AM
this is honestly one my best thoughts and its going to be an a24 movie
you die, then the two sonic guys in the car start pounding your asshole as you realize the afterlife is whatever you wanted it to be
November 6, 2025 at 4:43 AM
you die, then the two sonic guys in the car start pounding your asshole as you realize the afterlife is whatever you wanted it to be
growing up the holes in your dad's underwear weren't from the farting but from the friends he made along the way
November 5, 2025 at 4:05 PM
growing up the holes in your dad's underwear weren't from the farting but from the friends he made along the way
anyone ever listened to this band?
November 2, 2025 at 11:01 PM
anyone ever listened to this band?
i can never forgive pakistan for what they did to michael j fox
October 31, 2025 at 11:08 AM
i can never forgive pakistan for what they did to michael j fox
if you think about it there really is invisible harry potter type shit happening all around us like wifi
October 30, 2025 at 4:57 AM
if you think about it there really is invisible harry potter type shit happening all around us like wifi
anytime i see a man smoking a cigarette i call him a beta pussy and whoop their ass. cigarettes were invented for women hence the "ette" on the end. you should be smoking a cigar, pipe, or snorting that shit pussy boy
October 30, 2025 at 4:50 AM
anytime i see a man smoking a cigarette i call him a beta pussy and whoop their ass. cigarettes were invented for women hence the "ette" on the end. you should be smoking a cigar, pipe, or snorting that shit pussy boy
still obsessed with the idea of going to a church service and yelling spoilers anytime they start reading the bible
October 30, 2025 at 4:42 AM
still obsessed with the idea of going to a church service and yelling spoilers anytime they start reading the bible
gonna do a whole 30 minutes of shitty impressions of me in movies at the open mic comedy night
[me if i was in the movie "cars"]
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!
WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO ME NOW IM A FUCKING CAR!!!!!!!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUCK THIS ACTUALLY HURTS FUUUUUUUUCK!!!!
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!
WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO ME NOW IM A FUCKING CAR!!!!!!!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUCK THIS ACTUALLY HURTS FUUUUUUUUCK!!!!
October 30, 2025 at 4:19 AM
gonna do a whole 30 minutes of shitty impressions of me in movies at the open mic comedy night
[me if i was in the movie "cars"]
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!
WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO ME NOW IM A FUCKING CAR!!!!!!!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUCK THIS ACTUALLY HURTS FUUUUUUUUCK!!!!
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!
WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO ME NOW IM A FUCKING CAR!!!!!!!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUCK THIS ACTUALLY HURTS FUUUUUUUUCK!!!!
October 30, 2025 at 4:16 AM
[me if i was in the movie "cars"]
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!
WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO ME NOW IM A FUCKING CAR!!!!!!!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUCK THIS ACTUALLY HURTS FUUUUUUUUCK!!!!
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!
WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO ME NOW IM A FUCKING CAR!!!!!!!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUCK THIS ACTUALLY HURTS FUUUUUUUUCK!!!!
[me if i was in the movie "war of the worlds"]
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOLY FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
FUCKING RUN THERES BIG FUCKING ROBOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOLY FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
FUCKING RUN THERES BIG FUCKING ROBOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
October 30, 2025 at 4:14 AM
[me if i was in the movie "war of the worlds"]
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOLY FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
FUCKING RUN THERES BIG FUCKING ROBOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOLY FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
FUCKING RUN THERES BIG FUCKING ROBOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"im so lazy i use the clothes basket as my closet"
brother i use the actual washer and dryer as my closet you're a rookie
brother i use the actual washer and dryer as my closet you're a rookie
October 29, 2025 at 1:39 PM
"im so lazy i use the clothes basket as my closet"
brother i use the actual washer and dryer as my closet you're a rookie
brother i use the actual washer and dryer as my closet you're a rookie
nothing more beta than being a cuck for billionaires you stupid fucking trump fucks
October 28, 2025 at 5:26 PM
nothing more beta than being a cuck for billionaires you stupid fucking trump fucks
my daughter died in a hotdog fire last night. bad start to the work week
October 28, 2025 at 4:18 PM
my daughter died in a hotdog fire last night. bad start to the work week
holding the automatic door open for people at walmart
October 28, 2025 at 3:21 PM
holding the automatic door open for people at walmart
i dk officers im gay
October 28, 2025 at 2:43 PM
i dk officers im gay
what body wash do you use? i wanna smell like bsky
October 28, 2025 at 2:43 PM
what body wash do you use? i wanna smell like bsky