Lord Emp
@emperorgoblin.bsky.social
(he/him) Raised by hyenas.
Pinned
Lord Emp
@emperorgoblin.bsky.social
· Jun 30
For anyone checking out my profile because of an immigration thread, I was an immigration services officer with USCIS specializing in children's citizenship issues and was widely considered the national expert on such while I was there. I later wrote policy for the department. I know my shit.
I'm in a new place and feeling out whether it could be a permanent place. I have found
A good donut shop run by a lady who has NO TIME for me
A board game/RPG shop with discounts on the good stuff
A fried chicken place that will kill me
A descent coffee place that makes a good flat white
A good donut shop run by a lady who has NO TIME for me
A board game/RPG shop with discounts on the good stuff
A fried chicken place that will kill me
A descent coffee place that makes a good flat white
December 9, 2025 at 5:17 AM
I'm in a new place and feeling out whether it could be a permanent place. I have found
A good donut shop run by a lady who has NO TIME for me
A board game/RPG shop with discounts on the good stuff
A fried chicken place that will kill me
A descent coffee place that makes a good flat white
A good donut shop run by a lady who has NO TIME for me
A board game/RPG shop with discounts on the good stuff
A fried chicken place that will kill me
A descent coffee place that makes a good flat white
Reposted by Lord Emp
I am brimming with holiday spirit
December 8, 2025 at 12:47 PM
I am brimming with holiday spirit
"Isn't it beautiful?" said the king, looking out from the balcony. "The Sweepers Guild! Every morning they clean the streets and scrape all the blood out of the gutters that accumulates every night! That's progress!"
December 9, 2025 at 5:00 AM
"Isn't it beautiful?" said the king, looking out from the balcony. "The Sweepers Guild! Every morning they clean the streets and scrape all the blood out of the gutters that accumulates every night! That's progress!"
Reposted by Lord Emp
City’s too excited for Adams to be gone for anyone to be up to that typa business
New York City went 12 days without a murder in November / December. That's tied for the longest stretch in history, according to the NYPD. As someone who was here when there were 6+ murders per day in this town, it continues to amaze me how safe the place is.
December 8, 2025 at 7:40 PM
City’s too excited for Adams to be gone for anyone to be up to that typa business
You know, socialism!
Trump: "I'm delighted to announce this afternoon that the US will be taking a small portion of the hundreds of billions of dollars we receive in tariffs ... and we're going to be giving and providing it to the farmers in economic assistance. We love our farmers. The farmers like me ... $12 billion"
December 8, 2025 at 7:43 PM
You know, socialism!
Reposted by Lord Emp
this places rules and if you're too afraid to visit that's between you and your tiny baby brain
New York City went 12 days without a murder in November / December. That's tied for the longest stretch in history, according to the NYPD. As someone who was here when there were 6+ murders per day in this town, it continues to amaze me how safe the place is.
December 8, 2025 at 7:42 PM
this places rules and if you're too afraid to visit that's between you and your tiny baby brain
Reposted by Lord Emp
A massive problem today is the uneven distribution of shame. Some of us are running dedicated on-site shame servers 24/7 while others have no access to shame at all, even though they desperately need it. What we need to do is put shame in the cloud
December 6, 2025 at 2:54 AM
A massive problem today is the uneven distribution of shame. Some of us are running dedicated on-site shame servers 24/7 while others have no access to shame at all, even though they desperately need it. What we need to do is put shame in the cloud
How long did it take for history to look at Andrew Jackson and be horrified? My history books in grade school in the 1980s were certainly trying to be neutral and it still came off as 'well that was fucked up.'
December 4, 2025 at 3:16 AM
How long did it take for history to look at Andrew Jackson and be horrified? My history books in grade school in the 1980s were certainly trying to be neutral and it still came off as 'well that was fucked up.'
The Hegseth war crimes shit is especially infuriating because we all know he'll just get pardoned in advance and a huge portion of the electorate just won't give a shit.
December 4, 2025 at 2:36 AM
The Hegseth war crimes shit is especially infuriating because we all know he'll just get pardoned in advance and a huge portion of the electorate just won't give a shit.
You know, Alex Lahey is just a gem.
December 4, 2025 at 2:25 AM
You know, Alex Lahey is just a gem.
Austin airport is a bizarre mix of tech bro vests and Buc-ees pullover hoodies, man. Food was good.
December 4, 2025 at 12:20 AM
Austin airport is a bizarre mix of tech bro vests and Buc-ees pullover hoodies, man. Food was good.
Lyrics of 'Jizzlobber' appearing unbidden in my brain in the Austin airport.
'I can feel myself getting... Stupider?'
'I can feel myself getting... Stupider?'
December 3, 2025 at 10:33 PM
Lyrics of 'Jizzlobber' appearing unbidden in my brain in the Austin airport.
'I can feel myself getting... Stupider?'
'I can feel myself getting... Stupider?'
Kai out here suggesting that there is a floor for human stupidity.
What could possibly go wrong.
Unfathomably stupid idea
Unfathomably stupid idea
The co-founder of Kalshi says: " The long-term vision is to financialize everything and create a tradable asset out of any difference in opinion."
December 3, 2025 at 10:32 PM
Kai out here suggesting that there is a floor for human stupidity.
Reposted by Lord Emp
What could possibly go wrong.
Unfathomably stupid idea
Unfathomably stupid idea
The co-founder of Kalshi says: " The long-term vision is to financialize everything and create a tradable asset out of any difference in opinion."
December 3, 2025 at 10:20 PM
What could possibly go wrong.
Unfathomably stupid idea
Unfathomably stupid idea
Airport food post. ABIA. Peached Tortilla, Cauliflower Tacos. December 3, 2025. These are very good.
December 3, 2025 at 10:24 PM
Airport food post. ABIA. Peached Tortilla, Cauliflower Tacos. December 3, 2025. These are very good.
GODDAMNIT fuckin Tom Stoppard died
November 30, 2025 at 2:57 PM
GODDAMNIT fuckin Tom Stoppard died
Did the equivalent of throwing seeds in front of a witch: I asked my wife if she wanted to go on vacation somewhere cool and asked her to find a place to stay.
I will not see her for a few days, but she will text me 34 links to Airbnb listings.
I will not see her for a few days, but she will text me 34 links to Airbnb listings.
November 30, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Did the equivalent of throwing seeds in front of a witch: I asked my wife if she wanted to go on vacation somewhere cool and asked her to find a place to stay.
I will not see her for a few days, but she will text me 34 links to Airbnb listings.
I will not see her for a few days, but she will text me 34 links to Airbnb listings.
The horror of sneezing and feeling a booger bounce off your hand and not being able to find it and oh my god is it stuck to my shirt or in my hair or oh god oh god
November 29, 2025 at 3:36 AM
The horror of sneezing and feeling a booger bounce off your hand and not being able to find it and oh my god is it stuck to my shirt or in my hair or oh god oh god
Realizing that all the characters I'm good at in #Overeatch2 are the ones that put balls in faces. Moira, Zenyatta, and Junkrat. So many balls!
November 28, 2025 at 2:23 PM
Realizing that all the characters I'm good at in #Overeatch2 are the ones that put balls in faces. Moira, Zenyatta, and Junkrat. So many balls!
Doing the traditional listening of 'Alice's Restaurant' for Thanksgiving.
November 27, 2025 at 8:35 PM
Doing the traditional listening of 'Alice's Restaurant' for Thanksgiving.
My news feed is entirely BUY SOME SHIT
November 27, 2025 at 2:45 PM
My news feed is entirely BUY SOME SHIT
The John Travolta / Santa / Capital One commercial tells a lot about the state of the economy.
Santa is broke, goes on a credit card spending spree to chase nostalgia and maintain appearances of prosperity and competence. Leaves his otherwise competent workers in a bare garage.
Santa is broke, goes on a credit card spending spree to chase nostalgia and maintain appearances of prosperity and competence. Leaves his otherwise competent workers in a bare garage.
November 27, 2025 at 2:16 PM
The John Travolta / Santa / Capital One commercial tells a lot about the state of the economy.
Santa is broke, goes on a credit card spending spree to chase nostalgia and maintain appearances of prosperity and competence. Leaves his otherwise competent workers in a bare garage.
Santa is broke, goes on a credit card spending spree to chase nostalgia and maintain appearances of prosperity and competence. Leaves his otherwise competent workers in a bare garage.
Ok now, more seriously: I enjoyed the hell out of #paxunplugged last weekend. I got to play Dungeons and Dragons, Mörk Börg, and Pirate Börg with some wonderful people. I met some great folks on the expo floor, found cool games, and enjoyed a few great panels. I'm energized for games again.
November 26, 2025 at 11:49 PM
Ok now, more seriously: I enjoyed the hell out of #paxunplugged last weekend. I got to play Dungeons and Dragons, Mörk Börg, and Pirate Börg with some wonderful people. I met some great folks on the expo floor, found cool games, and enjoyed a few great panels. I'm energized for games again.
Ok, only vaguely following this: Olivia Nuzzi is just bad people all around I guess?
November 26, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Ok, only vaguely following this: Olivia Nuzzi is just bad people all around I guess?
