I cannot believe I didn’t win Mega Millions last night. I bought FIVE tickets

My expert party move is to Irish goodbye but tell everyone in advance I’m gonna do it

One of my favorite things about modern jam band culture is the absolute refusal of any attempt at coming up with a good band name. Pigeons Playing Ping Pong and Dogs In A Pile are both real, touring, moderately successful bands. They have soared despite their dreadfully shitty names 🤌

If my stomach is a black hole then I am an executive in the space industrial complex of the dystopian future, with an unlimited budget from congress at the expense of our intergalactic healthcare options, sending probe after probe into the abyss, with complete disregard for overage costs or purpose

Feeling like a renegade

Skeet skeet hello