Author | Lightnews

DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · 17h

I would love to be like an electrician or hvac person or something where I can take advantage of being 5 feet tall and spend all day crawling around attics and crawl spaces, but I also have a crippling phobia of dead animals. The lord really does fuck around like that.

DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · 14d

Just got a happy birthday email from my new health insurance on absolutely by far the wrong day, which is a pretty standard corporate marketing thing, but I do really feel like my health insurance company is the specific corporation that should probably know this information

DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · 16d

Arguing politics online is a trap. You can present evidence of horrors beyond the human imagination and there’ll always be some guy who’s like “well I’m a psychopath and I don’t care about that”

DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · Oct 2

I like peacemaker but I think I’d like it better if they were somewhat more efficient with the dialogue instead of beating every joke/bit to death and then eating it and shitting it out and pissing on it and lighting it on fire

DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · Sep 28

They could literally nuke los angeles and top comment on every platform would still be “great, where are the files”

DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · Sep 27

Had my first uniqlo experience (ascended)

DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · Sep 21

And it sounds like marrying a braindead canadian and fleeing the country was the best solution he could come up with, so maybe next time you feel like yapping about american impotence you can keep it in the family and spare the rest of us your useless sanctimonious horseshit

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DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · Sep 20

Some of us have been actually living this nightmare for a decade and doing shit and taking action and watching all of our efforts earn back nothing and we don’t need dickbrained Canadians armchair quarterbacking from the fucking peanut gallery. Fuck off.

1

DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · Sep 20

You are genuinely dumb as fuck if you think you can sit there from across the border and accuse us of “making excuses.” Why don’t you go hit the streets and get screamed and spit at and assaulted and have shit thrown at you out car windows and watch shit get worse anyway and then open your mouth.

2

DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · Sep 20

You do realize that protests only work if the people in charge care about things like reelection or constitutional rights? We’ve been protesting and will keep protesting but that ship has sailed. The next step is force and the maga goons outgun us easily. We’re fucked.

1

DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · Sep 20

Would love to know what exactly it is that you think we should or could be doing

1

DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · Sep 17

The universities and colleges i.e. liberal elitist left-wing propaganda factories teach our youth nothing but woke ideology, political extremism, transgender, and how to put a bullet through a man’s carotid artery from 150 yards away

DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · Sep 11

See back in my day if you saw a masked henchman dressed like an enemy npc hauling somebody into an unmarked van, you were either A.) at the movies or B.) legally entitled to aim for that guy’s face with the sharp edge of a crowbar

DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · Sep 5

THERE’S NOTHING GOOD IN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!

DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · Sep 3

Grown-ass adults who unironically use the term “bad guys” to talk about real human people are way too fucked in the head to be broadcasting on national television

Reposted by DiJon Mustard

Nicholas Grossman @nicholasgrossman.bsky.social · Sep 3

Doctor: Who am I to tell you what to put in your body?

Patient: A physician, educated for that purpose, licensed to practice medicine, familiar with the empirical research and established best practices.

Doctor: Oh, right. OK. Get your shots.

8 130 690

DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · Sep 2

This is white culture btw

DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · Sep 1

There was at least one makeup artist on dexter resurrection who needs to be actually for real arrested. Some of these men are entitled to compensatory damages.

1

DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · Aug 29

I just got for real madworldrolled by the third #Dexter reboot. It doesn’t go any lower than this. 16/10 btw

DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · Aug 28

Shit sucks for real right now I should’ve been a boomer. I would’ve been incredible at buying a house on minimum wage and retiring with seventeen million dollars and just enough breathable atmosphere left to last until I die in my sleep. Hate the children also.

DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · Aug 28

I’m the most paralytically indecisive person who was ever born so I made sure to pick a career where purchasing dozens of unique outrageously expensive items with hundreds of options to choose from is an essential job function. Did you know a single camera battery costs 100 American dollars.

DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · Aug 24

I need all of the tweens pumping their shit out for free on wattpad to know they could be getting paid real money for this ($0.001/word)

DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · Aug 24

Destroying my algo with these busted ass Upwork postings for youtube script writers where you click on the sample of what they’re looking for and it’s like “alpha twink impregnates mob boss at heat cycle masquerade ball (minecraft universe)”

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Reposted by DiJon Mustard

Laura Sell @laurasell.bsky.social · Aug 21

What a wonderful idea. Libraries are the best!
www.nytimes.com/2025/08/20/c...

Why Shop? In Maine, the Library of Things Has It All (Almost).

www.nytimes.com

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DiJon Mustard @daniellejoubert.bsky.social · Aug 20

👑

My little grey tabby cat Joseph resting with his face on my face in his prescription pajamas, which he took off about 12 times before we gave up completely and realized he didn’t even need them in the first place