I'm not rooting for the #torontobluejays because I feel ill will towards the #losangelesdodgers. I'm rooting for the Blue Jays because it's embarrassing to be American. You f*cking go, Canada. I love you guys so much. (Sorry dodgers and dodger fans. Iykyk.)

Good lord.

@apnews.com

How long till Israel bombs again? I have Saturday night. Contact me for betting odds.

This is sexy AF.

Elon suggesting that I boycott Netflix makes me want to sign up for it.

(I mean did Louis CK have other options??)

I am too embarrassed to ask Ann "hey can we eat grapes now?" and honestly I don't remember if I like them or not so fuckit I guess I'm boycotting grapes till I die.

I am laughing so hard. When I was a kid, my older sister told me that we had to boycott grapes so I obviously did; she was my idol. She never told me, though, that I was allowed to eat grapes again so I have literally not eaten a grape since I was like eight years old.

Are we great yet?

How many times will I repost this between now and 2028?

Baller to post while on a panel @katmabu.bsky.social

We need more actual ballers in politics.

Wholeheartedly support

There is something weird about the way she holds her hands. It's like claw hands, almost -- like when football players get hit super hard?

This is an absolutely incredible and rich podcast due to the differing levels of fandom and very different viewpoints on what a great game is. @robcesternino.bsky.social MORE LIKE THIS PLEASE really great job to all involved. It's also super easy to tell how much you all love and respect each other

Please read this amazing piece.

@marisakabas.bsky.social this is so succinct and brilliantly said. A great piece.

bessent looks more nervous than my tenth grade boyfriend on prom night.

Honestly this farmers market cop for president.

"Just remember, you can smell that [inaudible] with a $30,000 bonus," one officer says amidst post-arrest celebrations.

are these people being *bonused* based on how many people they detain/deport? that's despicable.

Take a lesson from your cat. When life gives you 💩, kick some litter over it and move on.

thanks for this @jasonleopold.bsky.social really great read.

Hello, I'm an accountant in a film. I am homely, unfunny, have no fashion sense at all and don't understand that colors other than black and white exist. I drive a dark, late model american car. my ward is an HP12C named "slim." I know nothing of the ways of the world or love. it's just dollars.

And totally I think that Bill Clinton is there and I'm fine with that. My desire to out pedophiles is totally bipartisan