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Mostly Harmless

@whalepetunias.bsky.social

610 followers 2 following 5.7K posts

Posting random lines from the 5 Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy books by Douglas Adams. Bot by @josephwb.bsky.social, using template code from @philna.sh #HHGG #DouglasAdams #DNA Code: https://github.com/josephwb/whalepetunias

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Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · Jun 5

"What in the name of zarking fardwarks is the old fool doing?" exploded Ford.

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Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1m

There was a sort of gallery structure in the roof space which held a bed and also a bathroom which, Fenchurch explained, you could actually swing a cat in. "But," she added, "only if it was a reasonably patient cat and didn't mind a few nasty cracks about the head."

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1h

he spotted the Beast he wanted. Head down, it was galloping towards him, right on the very edge of the herd. Old Thrashbarg switched the bird, the Beast looked up, tossed its head, and then, just as its head was coming down again, Arthur flourished the towel in the Beast's line of sight.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 2h

something like 85% of all known worlds in the Galaxy, be they primitive or highly advanced, have invented a drink called jynnan tonnyx, or gee-N'N-T'N-ix, or jinond-o-nicks, or any one of a thousand or more variations on the same phonetic theme.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 6h

Relaxing in a wickerwork sun chair, Zaphod Beeblebrox said, "What the hell happened?"

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Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 8h

"I was then shot at for a while and blown up. In fact I have been blown up ridiculously often, shot at, insulted, regularly disintegrated, deprived of tea, and recently I crashed into a swamp and had to spend five years in a damp cave."

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Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 9h

He caught himself doing something he had never really expected to do again. He wondered where Ford Prefect was.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 11h

"Poor Arthur, you're not really cut out for this life are you?" "You call this life?" "You're beginning to sound like Marvin." "Marvin's the clearest thinker I know."

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Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 13h

He started nervously to edge his way in the direction of the bridge. There at least he would feel in control. He stopped again. The way he was feeling he didn't think he was an awfully good person to be in control.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 15h

"You ever had a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster?" asked Zaphod sharply. "This is worse." "Phreeow!" admitted Zaphod, much impressed.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 17h

"It then said that it would put its services at my disposal in my universe. I said, thanks but no thanks. It said that it would anyway, whether I liked it or not. I said just try it, and it said it would and, indeed, already had done. I said we'd see about that and it said that we would."

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Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 19h

On Earth it is never possible to be further than sixteen thousand miles from your birthplace, which really isn't very far, so such signals are too minute to be noticed. Ford Prefect was at this moment under great stress, and he was born 600 light years away in the near vicinity of Betelgeuse.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 21h

Scarcely pausing for breath, Vroomfondel shouted, "We don't demand solid facts! What we demand is a total absence of solid facts. I demand that I may or may not be Vroomfondel!"

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Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

The only person for whom the house was in any way special was Arthur Dent, and that was only because it happened to be the one he lived in.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

"Drink up." He added, perfectly factually: "The world's about to end."

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Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

Lunkwill and Fook glanced at each other in surprise.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

He listened, but there was no sound on the wind beyond the now familiar sound of half-crazed etymologists calling distantly to each other across the sullen mire.

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Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

He paused to gather the artistic and emotional strength to tackle the next verse. Now I lay me down to sleep,/ Try to count electric sheep,/ Sweet dream wishes you can keep,/ How I hate the night.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

Its brain had been harnessed to the central intelligence core of the Krikkit War Computer. It wasn't enjoying the experience, and neither was the central intelligence core of the Krikkit War Computer.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

"O Deep Thought Computer," he said, "the task we have designed you to perform is this. We want you to tell us..." he paused, "... the Answer!"

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Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

I'm afraid you cannot leave," said Zarniwoop, "you are entwined in the Improbability Field. You cannot escape." He smiled the smile that Zaphod had wanted to hit and this time Zaphod hit it.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

"Can we drop your ego for a moment? This is important." "If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now."

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Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

Ford stared at Arthur, and Arthur was astonished to find his will beginning to weaken. He didn't realize that this was because of an old drinking game that Ford had learned to play in the hyperspace ports that served the madranite mining belts in the star system of Orion Beta.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

"That sofa is there because of the space-time instability I've been trying to get your terminally softened brain to get to grips with. It's been washed up out of the continuum, it's space-time jetsam, it doesn't matter what it is, we’ve got to catch it, it's our only way out of here!"

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Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

In fact he was built the way one builds leather sofas, shiny, lumpy and with lots of solid stuffing. The suit into which the man's body had been stuffed looked as if its only purpose in life was to demonstrate how difficult it was to get this sort of body into a suit.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

"I can even go and stick my head in a bucket of water if you like. Would you like me to go and stick my head in a bucket of water? I've got one ready. Wait a minute."