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U. S. Department of Structural Equity and Guillotine Logistics

@usdsegl.bsky.social

32 followers 19 following 8 posts

DIRECTOR – Geed B. Suvene Ensuring structural equity through measured disassembly. Audits: ongoing. Sharpening: quarterly. Voluntas Populi. Iudicium Populi. Ferrum Populi. ⚙️ http://ko-fi.com/usdsegl

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U. S. Department of Structural Equity and Guillotine Logistics @usdsegl.bsky.social · May 8

INTERNAL MEMO: DO NOT CIRCULATE

USD-SEGL is now operational.

Redistribution audits active. Sharpening quarterly.

Voluntas Populi. Iudicium Populi. Ferrum Populi.

Blade Sharpening Fund: ko-fi.com/usdsegl

(Parody agency. Blades metaphorical. Mostly.)

U. S. Department of Structural Equity and Guillotine Logistics @usdsegl.bsky.social · May 12

PROCEDURAL:This will be archived as required by the Revised Broken Clockspotting Act of '25. The last paragraph will be highlighted as unnecessary to the point, pursuant with the Spineless Emboldening of Pathetic Racists clause.
#Parody #Satire #USDSEGL #Seagull #BrokenClock #ImpeachTrump #FireBondi

U. S. Department of Structural Equity and Guillotine Logistics @usdsegl.bsky.social · May 9

USD-SEGL reminds all departments: Suspension of habeas corpus constitutes a breach condition. Even if U.S. Const. art. I, § 9, cl. 2. is attacked we still have amendments that remain self-enforcing by design. Agents are instructed to act accordingly.
#Satire #Parody #ResistFascism #TheresNOInvasion

Ron Filipkowski @ronfilipkowski.bsky.social · May 9

Stephen Miller says they are “actively looking at” suspending the writ of habeas corpus, which is only allowed when the US has been invaded or during an insurrection, which would not allow people to challenge their incarceration in court if they are arrested and detained.

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U. S. Department of Structural Equity and Guillotine Logistics @usdsegl.bsky.social · May 9

URGENT: Following radar failure at Newark, USD-SEGL has initiated a Level 3 Qualification Review of "Didn't Earn It" Failure Sean Duffy. Airspace equity cannot be maintained under current signal integrity.

#Satire #Parody #TrumpIsAFailure #UnqualifiedCabinet #FireSeanDuffy #GOPFailure #DuranDuran

U. S. Department of Structural Equity and Guillotine Logistics @usdsegl.bsky.social · May 9

From the Desk of Geed B. Suvene: USD-SEGL stands with Rep. Sara Jacobs on the DELETE DOGE Act. Phase 7 protocols activated. Guillotine readiness remains contingent on public resource redistribution.
#Satire #Parody #SaraJacobs #DeleteDOGE #USDSEGL #Seagull #TrumpIsAFailure #Left

U. S. Department of Structural Equity and Guillotine Logistics @usdsegl.bsky.social · May 8

From the desk of Director Geed B. Suvene: USD-SEGL officially endorses the Vatican Seagull for Pope. As the Conclave continues, we trust the votes will be cast for his glorious feathered ascension. Long live Pope SEGL the 1st!
#Satire #Parody #Seagull #Pope #Conclave2025 #USDSEGL

U. S. Department of Structural Equity and Guillotine Logistics @usdsegl.bsky.social · May 8

USD-SEGL acknowledges Powell’s latest response to Trump's tariffs and has activated Oligarch Oversight. Redistribution is 2 rowboats instead of 30 yachts. Non-compliance will be reported to the Ministry of Sharpened Accountability.
#Satire #Parody #Trumpflation #USDSEGL #seagull

U. S. Department of Structural Equity and Guillotine Logistics @usdsegl.bsky.social · May 8

URGENT: USD-SEGL is reallocating resources for improved training in clown makeup application protocols. Non-compliance will result in referral to the Ministry of Aesthetics.

#DEI #DUIHires #Satire #Parody #TrumpIsUnfitForOffice #aesthetic #seagull #ClownShow #AnnoyingOrange

U. S. Department of Structural Equity and Guillotine Logistics @usdsegl.bsky.social · May 8