Author | Lightnews

Ted Masthay

@tmasthay.bsky.social

190 followers 250 following 690 posts

I like the Columbus Crew and my wife. And my kids. I live in Pennsylvania, so please excuse my political narcissism.

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Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 6h

Voter #49 in my precinct at 8:21 am.

Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 1d

#Crew96 #HellIsReal #TheyKilledHarambe

Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 1d

I’ll admit the vibes are currently good. But the Atlanta 5-4 game is still in my head. #Crew96 #AllezColumbus

Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 1d

This is all I can think about every time I see Hugo Picard. #Crew96

Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 1d

Reminder to all those in the #Crew96 universe tonight.

Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 2d

Dodgers fans don’t deserve good things. But what a game.

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Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 5d

Yes.

Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 6d

The thing that is finally going to do me in is people referencing "championship windows" in MLS. They don't exist. It's the most random league in the universe. Please read all of the pre-season commentary on Philadelphia and San Diego, the #1 seed in each conference.

Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 7d

michael jordan is wearing a suit and tie and smiling .

ALT: michael jordan is wearing a suit and tie and smiling .

media.tenor.com

Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 7d

It’s inevitable someone will say it.

So it needs to be established that any #Crew96 fan who is so riddled with Messi Derangement Syndrome that they say they’re gonna root for FCC in the second round belongs underneath the 9th circle of Hell. With Anthony Precourt. For eternity.

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Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 8d

I will be trapped in a meeting during the first half of #HellIsReal tonight.

This should be illegal. #Crew96

Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 9d

No history is truly complete without Lumbus though.

Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 10d

My 5 and 7yo went to sit in the car while it warmed up this morning. Little did I know that my phone was close enough that the Bluetooth connected and they were listening, unsupervised, to @acesradio.bsky.social.

See you all in 4-6 years after I serve prison time for child endangerment. #Crew96

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Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 11d

We legitimately had a perfect thing going and decided to throw it all away.

Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 12d

yikes orlando

Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 15d

In other words, you can get about 3/4 of one episode in during the drive. #CUBES #DontListenToACESRadio

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Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 16d

I mean this as earnestly as possible.

What a player. What a man. He is one of one. #Crew96

Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 16d

Bro are the #Crew96 good? That was actually pretty fun.

Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 16d

One last banger, Darlington. That would be very good and cool. #Crew96

Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 22d

Cape Verde! 🇨🇻🇨🇻🦈🦈

Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 22d

Can’t co-sign this enough. The ability to not pay attention to your kids at the playground has been one of the most freeing parenting experiences. It’s very obviously good for both kid and parent.

Lucy Huber @clhubes.bsky.social · 22d

Ignoring your kids at the park is good, actually. I mean unless they’re like…very young or in immediate peril

Reposted by Ted Masthay

Lucy Huber @clhubes.bsky.social · 25d

It’s so embarassing when you accidentally type your password into the username field and see your password naked.

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Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · 28d

One of the best to ever hack it in this league. Deserves every flower that comes his way over the next few weeks. Oh captain, my captain. #Crew96

Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · Oct 5

I mean, it’s the first time since Leagues Cup the squad didn’t look like a festering pile of garbage. Unfortunately, simply not being terrible doesn’t result in wins all that often. #Crew96

Ted Masthay @tmasthay.bsky.social · Oct 4

#Crew96

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