Tea with Empathy
@teawithempathy.bsky.social
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#SAFESPACE to share life experiences, thoughts, creative content.
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When I joined a therapy group of women with trauma histories, I learned there that certain characteristics and behaviors I thought were inherent to who I was were, instead, trauma responses. Understanding this helped me change and become more true to my authentic self. #recoveruposse #Women
a man says " it all makes sense now " in an animated gif
ALT: a man says " it all makes sense now " in an animated gif
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Trauma survivors very frequently notice that the cultural norms around relationships & other priorities don't especially resonate w/ us. And if we can manage the reflexive shame about "not fitting in" w/ cultural attitudes or desires, we realize: that's a feature, not a glitch.
If night time is a trigger for you-- as it is for me, & lots of other trauma survivors-- have a strategy for how to handle what comes up at night. Do not try to just vibe your way through.
Your "parts" & inner child need more from us as the sun goes down.
Your "parts" & inner child need more from us as the sun goes down.
In realistic trauma recovery, we need to remind ourselves, over & over, that it's safe to make mistakes. That doesn't mean we love it, or we're cavalier about it-- it means we're not going to punish or shame ourselves for being human.
That we're NOT like our bullies & abusers.
That we're NOT like our bullies & abusers.
These are some of the tea bag bookmarks that are still available! 🍂
It doesn't matter that it was "just kids." It doesn't matter that it was "a long time ago." It doesn't matter if our bullies & abusers "had their own trauma."
Our wounds are our wounds-- & we're not realistically healing them until we quit listing reasons to minimize them.
Our wounds are our wounds-- & we're not realistically healing them until we quit listing reasons to minimize them.
"Plan A" didn't work out for anybody reading this (or the person writing this). Our trauma is going to try to convince us that means we "can't" create a life worth living-- but all it actually means is that Plan A didn't work.
We are still alive, & there are 25 other letters.
We are still alive, & there are 25 other letters.
Our trauma conditioning wants us to believe that meaningful recovery is beyond us-- that our problems are too big & entrenched to change by shifting our self talk, mental focus, & physiology day by day.
It wants us to forget & disbelieve that our brain can change-- but it can.
It wants us to forget & disbelieve that our brain can change-- but it can.
Many of us got exactly the wrong thing reinforced when, as kids, we were praised as "mature" or "good kids" for shutting down.
That didn't teach us how to process or contain anything. That just "taught" us no one wants to hear about it or help us when we're struggling.
That didn't teach us how to process or contain anything. That just "taught" us no one wants to hear about it or help us when we're struggling.