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talesofasubby.bsky.social
N
@talesofasubby.bsky.social
210 followers 140 following 200 posts
30s - She/Her - Subby to a wonderful Dom/Partner/Love of my life. Trying to make 24/7(ish) work, but life gets in the way. Poly. Recently discovered ADHD
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Not to be boring, but in Australia they (I guess we) call Honeydew Rockmelon.
Thanks, I’ll have a look!

(Also starstruck at even being answered, but yeah!)
TW: Self Harm

A little over a month ago I overdosed on tricyclic antidepressants and pain killers. In less than a month is my birthday. I am struggling with so much pain right now, I’m exhausted all the time and I just want to not be here anymore. It’s so much at the moment.
I can’t even get Fruitopia when I go to visit my parents? Fuck Trump (for this and literally everything else!!)
So ranting into the ether where no one knows me. Yesterday I overdosed on pain meds. It sucked and now I have to go back to counselling and see my GP which is going to be harder discussion. My partner now has to manage my meds.
My natural Little is on full takeover mode. My diet is like that of a toddler with a credit card (which is to say very beige and berry filled). I’ve been cuddling my teddy bear the whole day while Daddy is at work. I keep wearing his hoodie. Being sick sucks and I want to just cuddle and sleep.
a brown teddy bear is laying on a yellow pillow
ALT: a brown teddy bear is laying on a yellow pillow
media.tenor.com
Writing me off and I take 23 pills a day and none of them seem to help. I just wish I wasn’t so fucking useless and a burden to everyone.
On top of that, the pain has been so bad since September that I haven’t been able to intimate with any of my partners and it’s definitely affecting my husband and I know we’re growing apart and I feel like he’s growing resentful. I’m exhausted, I’m in pain and no one is helping me; doctors are just
last year and I feel useless because I can’t even pick up an extra day at work without my body shutting down completely.

I just feel like we have no options…😞
So… thanks to my partners job suspending him for 7 months (with pay but none of the over time) and my 8 weeks off of work late last year due to chronic illness, we’re about 4 grand in the hole and have no current way out. Just so frustrated because most of this has to do with my not working
What to do and I’m really just kind of over it all. And it’s not weird because my coworkers are saying I look better and seem less bad but at the same time I can only manage that by sleeping away half my free time and eating like 4 things. I’m so tired of this life but I don’t know what to do.
I feel relieved, but also angry and sad because I’m still living in pain and I paid thousands of dollars to a private pain clinic that literally spent maybe 30 minutes over 5 appointments. I’m exhausted and I’m tired and I know that something is really wrong and being missed and I don’t know
Finally, FINALLY have an appointment with the hospital’s pain clinic. I was first referred last April (to a different hospital where I actually still haven’t been given an appointment). It’s in March. Like 11 months for a pain clinic after a year in pain, nausea and an inability to eat properly…
a position that works for me, not have weight on me if I can’t handle it, but still experience physical pleasure.

And of course fucking with the mind can be just as amazing if you’re in the moods.
On my most painful days where I’m still feeling amorous OR I can feel that my partner is in need of touch - nothing beats a hand job/finger fuck. I feel less “useless” and I feel like I’m still giving them pleasure. Having my partner/partners reciprocate is also generally good because I can be in
We can pretend Diet Coke is water right? (I did also have actual water).

Veggies are my jam!
These are my pills. I emptied my bank account for TAP Block this morning. Neither have worked that well. It’s been 20 months of pain and way too much money. In the past month I’ve been told I’ll heal “with gentle exercise and healthy eating” and my tachycardia was “anxiety”. No, I have pneumonia.
Managed to give my self aspiration pneumonia. Fuck my fucking life!
Sitting in a cop shop while my hubs gives a police statement about being assaulted next week.

It needs to be to said; fuck the police, ACAB. We’re only doing this so we can take further action.
Share a crush with you have, no explanations.
Reposted by N
share a crush you have, no explanation 🤭🩷💜💙
Heading back to the hospital. Maybe 9th times a charm?