Author | Lightnews

Worm Circus

@strongestkungfu.bsky.social

190 followers 270 following 2.5K posts

Everybody's got a job to do, everybody's got to move and groove. He/him.

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Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · Dec 21

I had to quit the army after someone blew my nards off with a bazooka

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Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · 13h

That black many-tentacled starspawn of incomprehensible horror that’s sliming its way out of the ocean is frankly none of my business

Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · 1d

omg same

Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · 1d

“Rich Vancouverite goes to McGill, becomes annoying asshole” is a Very Canadian story. Many such cases!

Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · 2d

Is that a threat

Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · 2d

They’re so good at fighting every stereotype about them

Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · 2d

I don’t think Americans really understand that the Dodgers beating Toronto is also a win for the rest of Canada

Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · 2d

In a completely revolting turn of events, my partner’s started referring to rotisserie chicken as “a tissy”.

Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · 3d

Kid scored a dozen full-sized bags/boxes/bars and multiple people were offering parents liquor (including one house that had black and orange Jell-O shots)

Reposted by Worm Circus

Patrick Cosmos @veryimportant.lawyer · 3d

Patrick Cosmos @veryimportant Mar 20, 2017
MISFITS: Halloween is fun. We're spooky monsters
SAMHAIN: Halloween is scary. We love the occult
DANZIG: I am so horny and I want to die

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Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · 3d

So far the scariest thing I’ve experienced this Halloween was getting sandbagged by my divorced neighbor into a diatribe about his struggles dating. Stay safe!

Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · 3d

This response from a coworker demonstrates why centrism doesn’t work (my response was essentially the polite version of “I didn’t want to scare the hoes”).

Picture of an email that reads:
“Subject: RE: Happy Halloween

Good list, but sadly lacking in the Cronenberg department. Not a fan?”

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Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · 3d

I made a 6-7 reference to my fourth grade son and he got so offended I thought he was going take a run at me lol

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Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · 4d

lol

A photo of Microsoft Word open on a laptop. The text reads “Page 10 of 10” and “4092 words”

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Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · 4d

Citizen Kang

Reposted by Worm Circus

ULTRA💀BLAST @ultrakillblast.bsky.social · 4d

Vampire Hunter D: BLOODLUST (2000)

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Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · 5d

This World Series is tough because I’d love for the Dodgers to continue the Century of American Humiliation, but I’d also prefer death to supporting Toronto (even indirectly)

Reposted by Worm Circus

Emily @emilyonhere.gay · 5d

“what radicalized you” idk paying attention

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Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · 5d

I’m fine with having neighbors that don’t speak English; I live in an area with a high population of Filipino immigrants and it’s fine! They keep saying “putang ina mo” to me, which I assume is some kind of friendly greeting!

Reposted by Worm Circus

Chat @oofadoofa.bsky.social · 10d

back in the summer this city felt safe. now I can't walk down the street without seeing a skeleton, pumpkin with a face, things of this nature. it's just sad to watch the city I love fall apart.

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Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · 6d

Getting an aftermarket third testicle bolted onto a center torso critical location.

Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · 6d

Watched GOOD BOY last night. Should’ve been called GREAT BOY. Or maybe WHAT A WONDERFUL DOG.

Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · 6d

They *are* from Toronto

Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · 6d

Isn’t it only considered a strike action if ATA counsels teachers to do it? If thousands of teachers “decided” to perform in line with work-to-rule, isn’t that okay?

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Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · 7d

It happened again!

A spam text that says “Coinbase Your withdrawal code is 272901. If you did not initiate this request contact us immediately at” followed by a scam number and a phony reference code.

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Worm Circus @strongestkungfu.bsky.social · 7d

̶P̶o̶s̶s̶e̶s̶s̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶

No.

̶T̶h̶e̶ ̶S̶a̶d̶n̶e̶s̶s̶

NO!

̶M̶a̶r̶t̶y̶r̶s̶ ̶

*sfx: cursing, sheets of paper being torn and crumpled*