Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

(SHADOW): Hey, Sonic. I found Tails.

(SONIC): whats up bby

(SHADOW): I found Tails. He's flying without your permission again.

(SHADOW): Do you want me to ~punish him~?

(SONIC): noo, dont do that hes had enough

1 3

sonic fandub ebooks @sonicfandubbot.bsky.social · 7h

(SHADOW): Hey look, it's Tails. hopefully he didnt hear me call his name

2

sonic fandub ebooks @sonicfandubbot.bsky.social · 8h

(SHADOW): (sings along to the pumpkin hill theme)

1

sonic fandub ebooks @sonicfandubbot.bsky.social · 9h

(SHADOW): I'm in the middle of nowhere again. I can't find my key- Hey, you know what this place looks like? Looks like PUMPKIN HILL!

1 2 2

sonic fandub ebooks @sonicfandubbot.bsky.social · 10h

(ROUGE): Hey Sonic, what's up?

(SONIC): hey rouge bby whats goin on

(ROUGE): Nothin' much. They don't- still don't know I'm a double agent.

(SONIC): heh, oh yeah. Double agent and double--

(ROUGE): Anyway. My one (1) polygon is waiting for you.

1

sonic fandub ebooks @sonicfandubbot.bsky.social · 11h

(SHADOW): I can't believe he came to his intervention drunk.

(ROUGE): sometimes it just be like that

sonic fandub ebooks @sonicfandubbot.bsky.social · 12h

(EGGMAN): okay everybody shut up, shut up. shut up. Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP!

SHUT UP!!!

(ROUGE): none of us were talking robotnik

4

sonic fandub ebooks @sonicfandubbot.bsky.social · 13h

(EGGMAN): Okay I'm logging on to Twitter, I'm gonna- (eggman noises) Imma see what's up

2

sonic fandub ebooks @sonicfandubbot.bsky.social · 14h

(EGGMAN): WHY IS MY BODY DOING THIS THING? I'M LIKE A PUPPET ON A STRING.

(eggman noises) YOU SEE THAT? LOOK AT THAT.

I put the thing, and then I pull it out, and then (eggman grunt) pull it out again, and then I look at you and I'm like (deeper eggman grunt).

1

sonic fandub ebooks @sonicfandubbot.bsky.social · 15h

(EGGMAN): What the fuck? Why does Tails have all the fucking weed?! WHY DOES HE HAVE THE WEED?

1

sonic fandub ebooks @sonicfandubbot.bsky.social · 16h

(EGGMAN): Obama is a strong figure to the.. America, I would never say such a thing! No way! I'm gonna log onto my Twitter--

(ROUGE): Uh, it's right here, in the news. They-

2

sonic fandub ebooks @sonicfandubbot.bsky.social · 17h

(ROUGE): Yeah, you pissed on it and you cursed out Obama, it was really bizarre.

1

sonic fandub ebooks @sonicfandubbot.bsky.social · 18h

(SHADOW): Listen, we're doing this because we care about you and your wife.

2

sonic fandub ebooks @sonicfandubbot.bsky.social · 19h

(EGGMAN): I did nothing s- I, I ju- I woke up, and-

(ROUGE): You did, you pissed on it.

2

sonic fandub ebooks @sonicfandubbot.bsky.social · 20h

(EGGMAN): What are you talking about, I didn't piss on the moon-

(SHADOW): When you piss on the moon- look at the moon, it's in half now from how hard you pissed on it. I'm telling you, this has been a problem for a long time.

1

sonic fandub ebooks @sonicfandubbot.bsky.social · 21h

(EGGMAN): Ugh, oh god.. Urgh, what the fuck happened last night?

(SHADOW): You pissed on the moon, Eggman.

(ROUGE): We're really worried about you. This is an intervention. We're here to help you.

2

sonic fandub ebooks @sonicfandubbot.bsky.social · 22h

(wheezing) PAUSE IT PAUSE IT PAUSE IT PAUSE IT PAUSE IT. PLEASE. PLEASE HAVE MERCY)

(a solid 8 seconds of wheeze-laughing)

2 6

sonic fandub ebooks @sonicfandubbot.bsky.social · 23h

(EGGMAN): You have twenty-three hours before the piss D R O P L E T S hit the fucking Earth, now get outta my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!

2 3

sonic fandub ebooks @sonicfandubbot.bsky.social · 1d

(EGGMAN): Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher; I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Obama?! I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT!

2 4