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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 38m

Unlike the film industry, there are apparently no consequences when you completely fuck up while working in a GOP government.

Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 1h

Very @elisa.dftba.social coded. 🐦

derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 1h

thinking about the time a cool Instagram fashion account asked me to name my favorite products and i didn't know i was supposed to name fashion products, so i said pigeon food because i like feeding pigeons and their followers were like "why the fuck do i need pigeon food for my outfit?"

The Instagram account Saint featured me. The first slide says: "Derek Guy - Dieworkwear. Derek Guy is a menswear writer who has written for The New York Times, Esquire, and Mr. Porter. He also runs a menswear blog called Die, Workwear"

One of the slides showing my favorite products. It's it's a big bag of Hagen pigeon food. The food is fortified with the vitamins and nutrients pigeons need.

Instagram user writes: "Why tf do i need pigeon food for my outfit." I replied: "this is what i can afford to eat after spending all my money on clothes ::sad face::"

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 6h

I mean. You don't want to get scurvy...

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 6h

Yeah... I had a few tabs open from earlier and two are showing different errors, one of them is showing the thumbnail from earlier. Hopefully they'll pull out of it soon, I want to watch Brennan Lee Mulligan on Legal Eagle (unlikely crossover time, he's been hitting the PR circuit).

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 7h

Still not working for me. (Hopefully they didn't install a new megablocker for the ad blocker I'm using, LOL.)

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 7h

Oh no! We want you to have a good time at work. Or at least a decent time. Or an OK time.

Not a BAD time, is my point.

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 8h

Oh I forgot they also made me do paperwork on a clipboard at some point as well. Two pages there. 🫩

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 8h

Me last Wednesday. 😅 Checked in online, did questionnaire. Was sent a different questionnaire two days later, did that. 😒 Arrived onsite, handed iPad and told to fill out questions. 🙄 Then directed to a tablet on a stand to "finish checking in." 🗡️🐢 C'mere, I just wanna talk...

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 12h

Try to avoid making the top and bottom too similar. Dark jeans with light blue top (or vice versa), or jeans with blue patterned or textured top. Stuff like that.

Or jeans that aren't blue! 🤯

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 15h

Right! And they've agreed not to talk about the whole "eating their eggs" thing if we don't bring up the "avian flu" debacle.

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 15h

😅 This explains your affinity for birds... you're made of 40% bird protein.

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 1d

You have to figure there was a lot of CFS/ME and similar in the 19th century with how often people were getting serious viral and bacterial illnesses. No vaccines, no antibiotics, etc. But it wasn't often described accurately. Just passed off as "weak" or "sickly."

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 1d

Not with Dr. Oz and RFK in charge 🙄

Not sure what creatinine does. I have had so many blood tests come back a little wonky and docs almost never seem to care. Why are you even doing tests if you don't care about the results? It's a mystery.

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 1d

Here's a few recent ones. As you can see from 2020 and 2024 we are a political family 😅

A pumpkin lit up from the inside that has the word VOTE carved into it

A pumpkin that isn't lit up. It has a face that is meant to look a little scared. The face is sort of like D-: but the eyes are looking to one side and down. (If your screen reader can't read the ASCII emoji the mouth is big and wide and downturned)

A lit up pumpkin that is making up for the scared pumpkin of the year before (which did not go over well with toddlers). He is very happy and has a lot of big sharp teeth. He has eyebrows and a diamond shaped nose and generally looks very pleased.

Another lit up pumpkin that says "VOTE" but this one added another line below which says ,LA (comma L A) which is supposed to spell out 'Kamala' because I did not have the room or the skill to spell out the whole thing. It was very popular in my parents' neighborhood.

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 1d

Yeah, like me cutting way back on red meat for years, and then it turns out I'm low on iron. Bleh. Stupid unregulated supplement industry. I don't wanna eat beef OR pills. *throws tantrum*

At least now you have a reference for buying future safe protein.

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 1d

Hopefully I'll get to use it next year, the kit looks like it will be really good! I don't even really want to do my own (painful shoulder, nowhere to put it, etc.) but I always do one as a favor for my parents. They love having one.

I did get a nice card in the mail today, too! So that was nice.

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 1d

Glad you didn't get the "Now with extra heavy metals!!" version 😅

Seems like everyone's doing extra protein these days, don't blame you for wanting to give it a shot if you want to put on some muscle mass and reshape the bod a little.

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 1d

Silly is so cute!

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 1d

Something to pass along to your protein-goal friends. The Huel protein powder they tested contains a ton of lead and also cadmium 🤢 Other brands had problems as well.

Protein Powders and Shakes Contain High Levels of Lead - Consumer Reports

CR tests of 23 popular protein powders and shakes found that most contain high levels of lead.

www.consumerreports.org

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 1d

I'm a big proponent of not telling bad medical stories as a "fun" story! My parents are the world's biggest complainers and hearing every microdetail of their medical-related whining as a kid gave me so much anxiety about doctors.

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 1d

🥃🐢

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 1d

It was actually fine. I just remember opening my eyes and someone saying "everything is fine" and going back to sleep. I had a nerve block to the leg being operated on so it was fully numb. I could vaguely tell people were touching/moving it. Like your shoulder could tell if someone shook your hand.

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 1d

Someone at the glasses store I went to gave me her personal cell and I'm like 😐 why would you do that, why would I text you, please don't do that??

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 1d

I did in fact wake up during that surgery. I'm not sure if that makes it more or less funny.

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Sarah 🍕 @sarahv.dftba.social · 1d

In the end a bit of a letdown - I forgot I ordered a set of high-end pumpkin carving tools bc I've been really suffering with regular knives the last few years (hand/shoulder pain etc).

My mom called right after & told me they will be out of town for Halloween and don't need me to carve one. 😂

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