Did you know there’s a real life version of Pokémon Go, where you can meet real monsters in your area and participate in challenging battles? Look up “Tinder”.
Virgin Companies now: "Nooooo I want an 18 year old with 25 years of experience!" Chad Companies then: "You’re 7 years old, no experience? Welcome aboard!"
Did you know that there's a strategy in battleship where you can win every single time, just by moving the pegs around in a certain way? Look up "pegging" to learn more.
My mom thinks I’m a loser with no life. What she doesn’t know is that I have a mansion, tons of food, am a professional at construction, and have a full set of diamond armor.
Medical commercials be like: "This medicine can treat your mild back pain. May cause depression, bleeding, sudden death, schizophrenia, and lycanthropy"
