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Reuters Pitchbot
@reuterspitchbot.bsky.social
590 followers 2 following 14 posts
International world news for the capitalist class. Satirical. Parody account. Not Reuters. Brought to you by CBC Pitchbot
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Democrats vow to get more misogynistic in appeal to voting-age men
Stocks open lower today as markets react to news of JD Vance killing the Pope
BREAKING: 400 countries in active trade negotiations with the US, trade advisor says
Stocks up higher after President Trump encourages markets to "BE COOL"
BREAKING: Conservatives begin boycott of stock markets, citing anti-Trump bias
BREAKING: US-backed President of South Korea Yoon Suk-yeol found guilty in martial law declaration, permanently removed from office
Opinion | Not everyone you disagree with is a “Nazi”
Democrats vow to abandon new segment of their base every month until morale improves
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis offers South Korean President Yoon political asylum
Opinion | You can't even declare martial law these days with all the cancel culture going on.

by Yoon Suk-yeol
Markets soar as South Korean President declares military dictatorship
US police departments across the nation say they won't be disciplining officers found to be on membership lists of right-wing extremist organizations, saying it would cause a severe manpower shortage in every department
Israel accuses civilian targets of embedding inside civilian areas
The White House says the ICC arrest warrants against Israeli PM Netanyahu may scupper ongoing ceasefire negotiations that aren't actually happening