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depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 12h

wouldn’t wish this condition on anyone
it’s 8 and I just now got out of bed
haven’t seen a sliver of daylight because it’s dark by 4

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depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 14h

it’s as if that severe depressive episode slowed me down and aged me up by decades
i still don’t daydream and fantasize like i used to. i cant really get lost in my fantasies anymore

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depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 14h

it was so severe in 2021-2022 that I don’t remember a lot from that winter, I temporarily lost my ability to draw and my skills have been plying catch-up for years because of it. I draw at 1/4th of the speed I used to, and drawing for 2 hours exhausts me
I read slower now

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depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 14h

depression is so wild to me. how a mental illness can have such physical effects
my memory is lapsing, my ability to visualize and imagine is weaker, i feel entirely out of form and just walking sometimes feels like im walking while hangover
my dreams are intense and mostly nightmares

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Reposted by depressed Kirby main

🦇 Harper 🔜 Pawcon'25 🦇 @2manystripes.bsky.social · Sep 7

More reasons to be anti-AI

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depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 14h

just dreamt that we took him to visit the town he and grandma grew up in and woke up to hear the surgery was successful
im so relieved

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depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 14h

was nobody gonna tell me about this

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depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 15h

ummmm big mistake. guess who fell back asleep until 5

depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 15h

Oh! I didn’t realize there were two versions! I’m pretty sure Tatiana is the version I got, I’ll have to double check…

If it’s possible… I could maybe lend you my audible so you don’t have to buy them … 🤔🤔🤔

depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 20h

this is all I want

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depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 20h

thank you ;;

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depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 20h

It’s so awkward… I listened to it immediately after listening to the original trilogy and it was kind of a rough transition, cause I LOOVE the voice over in those! And iirc she does sing the songs 🤔🤔🤔

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depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 20h

now ive called in sick to my garden center job, my gardening job, my career counselor, this mental health course, the only thing ive been consistent with is meeting up with my friends and not self isolating

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depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 20h

I feel like everything is turning to sand in my fingers and im just letting it slip through
the amount of things I’ve called in sick to the last month is unlike anything I’ve done before
i have more responsibilities now than I did in 2021, when i was fully freelance and only had to cancel on myself

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depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 20h

called the nurse in charge and we agreed i would have a one on one session with her tomorrow instead

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depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 20h

it’s such a strange choice 😭 especially since Snow is supposed to be a decent singer

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depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 20h

daydreaming about having at-home therapist sessions and mental health staff living with me
what crazy dreams to have at the tender age of 30

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depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 20h

i think im far too ill for the imagined subject group of this course but until i get into therapy this is all i have

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depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 20h

physically forcing myself to go outside and attend this course despite feeling like hell and being in the throes of a mental breakdown

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depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 1d

I took a good thing and i ruined it and i hate myself for it

depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 1d

what did i do wrong????? why did i fuck it up

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depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 1d

im sick im gonna throw up he used to call me baby

depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 1d

i want this pain to end

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depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 1d

it felt so good to be loved again
i was so happy to be wanted

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depressed Kirby main @petiteocs.bsky.social · 1d

it hurts so bad
so so bad
this heartbreak is making me sick

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