Author | Lightnews

pandathletic

@pandathletic.bsky.social

570 followers 560 following 720 posts

Occasional silly thoughts to boost your shitscrolling experience

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · May 5

The great thing about having young kids at home is you get to ask yourself the real big questions like is the sun comestible? Has the stroller washed their hands when we got home? Is the punishment for stealing to be eaten?

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 4m

People agreeing to this are unwell. Even if nobody buys Teslas or use their robotaxis, that maniac will be paid like a king for being a 12 y/o online.

Tesla shareholders approve Elon Musk’s $1 trillion pay package

Tesla said shareholders voted in favor of CEO Elon Musk’s almost $1 trillion pay plan, with 75% support.

ground.news

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 1d

All these election results are win-win-win-win

1. People get more humane policies ♥️
2. Democrats get a boost in confidence 🚀
3. Republicans get new scapegoats for their mistakes 🐐
4. I get to post silly emojis 🎉

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 2d

Haha what's next, affordable groceries and housing? Yeah? Why not universal healthcare while we're at it?!? Ok ngl I like where this is going...

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 3d

This is nuts. That piece of shit is given free pass on all his tantrums that have dire consequences left and right, and the message from those who can do anything about it is "yeah we know, anyone else would be treated differently, but you know, trump will be trump".

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 3d

I must confess that I did not, in fact, roll on the floor laughing while reading your slack message. I'm sorry for sending the wrong impression.

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 3d

[Under any sensible leader]: hahaha good one, imagine having so little taste 😜😉

[Under Deranged Orange]: please tell me this is joke, this looks too plausible 😨

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 3d

Me in a hoodie after discretely changing it to l0uvre2025: It's ok crew it's safe now!

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 3d

Also how long does it take?

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 3d

I wouldn't know, you think I have time to watch my adresses on replay? I can't comment on what I haven't seen 🤷

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 4d

Another day, another tantrum by some orange excuse of a human...

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 5d

Wow that guy is totally president material!!

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 5d

"unless the fact checker uses misinformation tactics as well"

🤯

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 6d

Apparently that's convincing enough for a whole lot of people 😔

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 7d

Imagine what else is being deleted 🤬🤬🤬

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 7d

Who invented November anyway?!? Terrible name, pathetic weather and brings no value to anyone. So I have asked the Department of Calendar to immediately look into replacing this good-for-nothing month by a good, positive month, where I get presents every day.

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 7d

I get that cruelty is the point but this level of disgrace is so shocking. Eat shit dumb bitch doesn't ever start to cover the feeling 🤬

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 7d

I hope Tylenol still sues your rotten ass off the planet you dumb bitch

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 8d

When you're jealous of other people speaking other languages you can either:
1. Learn another language, have fun, and be proud
2. Rebuild your worldview around hating people who speak other languages, and be a piece of shit

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 8d

Obviously
LA carte SIM électronique
Goes into
LE téléphone portable

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 9d

Hey Grok, duplicate Wikipedia but make all articles more nazi

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 9d

Hahaha I want to be the person with the org chart 🤣🤣🤣

Them: Hi uncle Dan!!

Me: Yeah look here Dan is your second cousin once removed!! Cool eh?

I probably shouldn't expect to get dessert at those parties... 🤔

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 9d

Your honour when I called him my son I didn't want to imply that my dog was born out of my vagina

1 2

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 10d

They were just doing the case study as part of ICE hiring process

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 11d

A crooked moron you say?? Hmm I can think of one indeed you dickless shitface

pandathletic @pandathletic.bsky.social · 11d

That's a lot of words for achtually...