Author | Lightnews

Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · 1d

Screw you
*un-professionalises your iPhone 17 Pro*

#AlternateTimelineApple

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · 4d

Made some edits and turned it into an early 2000s-style ad poster.

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · 4d

24 years ago today, we all danced around the apartment to the tune of 1,000 songs in our pocket.

Happy birthday, iPod!

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · 9d

The 2015 12.9" iPad Pro was not the first time Apple considered making a larger iPad. From the very beginning, they experimented with a 9.7" and a 15.5" iPad model however only the 9.7" made it to production. The yield for 15.5" touchscreens was too low.

#AlternateTimelineApple

A variant of the 2010 iPad, with a 15.5-inch display showing the iOS 3.2 Home Screen. Cydia is present, indicating that it is jailbroken.

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · 10d

Thermal throttling to the speed of a G3.

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · 13d

Mmmmm… something powerful is coming.
#AlternateTimelineApple

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · 14d

Okay, but what if...?
(dbrand teardown skin image used as reference, the rest is edited by me)

#AlternateTimelineApple

An iPhone 17 Pro with a translucent Bondi blue back piece showing the internals.

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · 15d

The constantly spinning hard drive on the camera-equipped iPod classic was also so loud that its sound was being picked up by the microphone. The iPod touch camera module suffered performance issues and was also cancelled, leaving only the 5th gen iPod nano with a camera that got released.

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · 15d

In response to the Flip Video's success, Apple originally intended for the 2009 iPod nano, classic, and touch to all have video cameras. The classic's camera was cancelled because the hard drive write speed wasn't enough for continuous 240p recording.

#AlternateTimelineApple

A 2009 iPod nano, iPod classic, and iPod touch all with cameras on the back. Below, a hand is holding up an iPod classic and using it to record a video.

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · 23d

Apple experimented on an 8th gen iPod classic with an A19 SoC, flash storage, and two-tone casing, however it was cancelled after an engineer made an offhand comment about how ugly the design looked.

The design was later reused for the iPhone 17 Pro.

#AlternateTimelineApple

An iPod classic with a casing that resembles the iPhone 17 Pro.

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · 25d

Affinity Photo 2:
apps.apple.com/us/app/affin...

Affinity Designer 2:
apps.apple.com/us/app/affin...

Affinity Publisher 2:
apps.apple.com/us/app/affin...

‎Affinity Photo 2 for iPad

‎The next generation of the iPad App of the Year, Affinity Photo 2 for iPad is a genuine desktop-grade, professional photo editor used by photographers, graphic designers, illustrators, artists, and o...

apps.apple.com

Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · 25d

The Affinity Creative Suite for iPad (Photo 2, Designer 2, Publisher 2) is currently free, you should probably get them in case it's a mistake and they change it later, they're normally $18.49 each. Just make sure to activate the perpetual license after downloading (currently showing as a $0 IAP).

‎Affinity Photo 2 for iPad

‎The next generation of the iPad App of the Year, Affinity Photo 2 for iPad is a genuine desktop-grade, professional photo editor used by photographers, graphic designers, illustrators, artists, and o...

apps.apple.com

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · 29d

It seems history has once again repeated itself.

A titanium iPhone 15 Pro Max on top of a 2001 titanium PowerBook G4, next to an aluminium iPhone 17 Pro on top of a 2003 aluminium PowerBook G4.

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · Sep 24

I had a few expectations from 2025, but seeing my #AlternateTimelineApple satire posts being covered on Hong Kong's national news website because they missed the "satire" tag was not one of them.

(The article was probably written by AI with no human fact checking)

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · Sep 23

Shortly after release Apple had to add choking hazard warnings to the packaging due to a sudden uptick in A&E admissions from YouTubers accidentally suffocating on the iPhone Nano by putting it in their mouth while recording durability test videos.

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · Sep 23

In an alternate timeline, Apple decided to revisit their small form factor iPhone, however instead of simply releasing an iPhone Mini, they went even further.

iPhone Nano had a 3" display and was the smallest ever iOS device.

#AlternateTimelineApple

A comically small iPhone that is essentially the iPhone 17 Pro reduced to just its Plateau.

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · Sep 22

Apple originally considered releasing a 4.7" iPhone 17 Pro Mini, however during DVT stage an engineer remarked how absurd the device looked while on a MagSafe store display stand and so development was scrapped.

(17 Pro and 15 Pro Max for scale)

#AlternateTimelineApple

A comically small iPhone 17 Pro Mini with a 4.7 inch screen, in between a regular iPhone 17 Pro and an iPhone 15 Pro Max.

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · Sep 21

And for the OGs out there:

iPhone 17 Pro, except the Ceramic Shield plate on the back has the screen and Click Wheel from an iPod 1st generation.

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · Sep 21

People on the Internet: Apple should bring back the iPod.
Apple:

#AlternateTimelineApple

iPhone 17 Pro, except the Ceramic Shield plate on the back has the screen and Click Wheel from an iPod 5th generation.

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · Sep 20

PreEVT stage iPhone 17 Pro, Apple tried to replace the Camera Control with a Digital Crown and dedicated shutter button. This was in response to user feedback about the lack of tactility from a capacitive button.

This did not make it to production.

#AlternateTimelineApple

An iPhone 17 Pro with the Camera Control replaced by a Digital Crown and button similar to that seen on the side of the Apple Watch Ultra.

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · Sep 19

In 2007, Apple experimented with replacing MacBook trackpads with a pair of Click Wheels; one would move the cursor along the X-axis while the other would move it along the Y-axis. It was internally referred to as the Etch A Sketch Mac.

#AlternateTimelineApple

A 2007 MacBook Pro prototype with the trackpad replaced by a pair of iPod classic Click Wheels.

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · Sep 18

Apple releases M5-powered MacBook Pro with a long-requested touch screen, however contrary to expectation instead of making the main screen touch-sensitive they actually replaced the entire lower half with a giant Touch Bar-like virtual keyboard.

#AlternateTimelineApple

A 16" MacBook Pro with the keyboard and trackpad replaced by a large touch-sensitive virtual input screen.

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · Sep 13

Following on from the iPhone Air, Apple introduces the iPod Air. At just 6.1mm, it is the thinnest Click Wheel-based iPod yet while featuring all-day battery life, fast flash-based storage, and no headphone jack.

#AlternateTimelineApple

An iPod classic with a thin back casing that resembles a 1st generation iPod touch.

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · Sep 7

Got jumpscared while listening to music today. Anyone else in the UK get this alert?

#AlternateTimelineApple

A 2003 iPod 3rd generation with a warning displayed on the screen. Title: "Severe Alert". Message: "This is a test of Emergency Alerts, A UK government service that will alert you if there's a life-threatening emergency nearby."

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Michi @nekomichi.bsky.social · Sep 4

EVT-stage prototype multi-disk iPod; it featured multiple dual-platter 1.8" hard drives in a RAID-0 configuration with a total storage capacity of 240GB.

#AlternateTimelineApple

Top image: An abnormally thick iPod 4th generation. Bottom image: The iPod disassembled, showing four dual-platted 1.8-inch hard drives stacked on top of each other.

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