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Neal Auch

@nealauch.bsky.social

350 followers 310 following 740 posts

Still life artist. Writer of horror and nonfiction. No AI, NFTs, or similar bullshit. Queer gothy lefty poly weirdo. He/him pronouns. www.nealauch.com

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Neal Auch @nealauch.bsky.social · Jan 20

Hello! I'm Neal Auch. I'm an artist, mostly interested in repurposing the philosophy and iconography of 17th-century Dutch still life for these dark times. My art has appeared in galleries and coffee table books; and my clients include Paramount+, Weirdpunk, Grindhouse, and others.

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A floral still life with rotten lemons, bones, and dead flowers. By Neal Auch.

A floral still life with rotting lemons and flowers, in addition to coins. By Neal Auch.

A vanitas still life with rotting vegetables, bones, and carcasses. By Neal Auch.

A still life with dead flowers, a raccoon skull, and lemons. By Neal Auch.

Reposted by Neal Auch

Arthouse Smut @arthousesmut.bsky.social · 2m

every cock is a work of art, worthy of being framed and hung

a de-armed mannequin contemplates the flaccid cock they have framed and hung upon the wall

Neal Auch @nealauch.bsky.social · 23h

Cooking with gas.

Arthouse Smut @arthousesmut.bsky.social · 23h

You know that thing where your partner gives all the sperms a name and then you feel really bad about eating them so you just order the veggie burger instead?

Arthouse Smut @arthousesmut.bsky.social · 1d

Spermatozoa [2025]

Reposted by Neal Auch

Arthouse Smut @arthousesmut.bsky.social · 2d

nude reclining [n.a.2025]

The nude reclines, at ease. Their mind is elsewhere, eyes focused in the infinite blackness. One hand absently strokes the shaft.

Reposted by Neal Auch

Arthouse Smut @arthousesmut.bsky.social · 1d

Spermatozoa [2025]

a makeshift spermatozoa assembled from detached head and dildo.

Neal Auch @nealauch.bsky.social · 1d

Going forward, things are gonna get considerably weirder over there...

Arthouse Smut @arthousesmut.bsky.social · 1d

Mannequins are Vampires [n.a.2025]

The vampire seductress, fresh from the grave. What's become of her right arm? She turns her head to look for it...

There's this idea that the gothic aesthetic is fundamentally about ruined opulence. Victorian mansions and medieval castles were once places associated with wealth and status. Left to crumble into disrepair, these places become gothic. The dead mall trend is a kind of modern gothic aesthetic; it is fundamentally about finding beauty in the decay of what was once associated with commerce, wealth, and abundance.
If we accept this, then we must accept that mannequins are modern vampires. Like vampires, mannequins are suspended between life and death. Life vampires, mannequins seduce their victims. Like vampires, mannequins want to drain your essence (although here "essence" means currency rather than blood). And, of course, just like vampires, all mannequins are bisexual.

Reposted by Neal Auch

Arthouse Smut @arthousesmut.bsky.social · 2d

all used up [n.a..2025]

Exhausted from the sexual act, the nude, in pieces, reclines upon a chest. Their cock is still erect. Body fluids stain the space. The condom dangles precariously.

Neal Auch @nealauch.bsky.social · 2d

Note: by default, Bluesky blocks adult content.

You can turn this off by going to "settings" -> "moderation" -> "enable adult content."

Neal Auch @nealauch.bsky.social · 2d

I made a 2nd account to drop uncensored NSFW art while I'm deciding what this project will be.

@arthousesmut.bsky.social

For now it'll mostly be me practicing lighting / posing with this weird mannequin thingy. But I will move onto human subjects pretty soon. Give it a follow if interested!

Neal Auch @nealauch.bsky.social · 5d

I can't believe I never noticed this before but it feels intentional, presuming that parable would have been familiar to a Romanian in the 50s, which I have no idea how likely that is one way or another.

Neal Auch @nealauch.bsky.social · 5d

Like, instead of being a story about someone being alarmist for no good reason, it's about living in a world where you see the wolf plain as day, yell "wolf!" at the top of your lungs, and then the townsfolk just stand around uselessly debating whether or not wolves exist.

Neal Auch @nealauch.bsky.social · 5d

For all the thought I've given to Ionesco's Rhinoceros, I cannot believe I'm only just now realizing that the story is also constructed to be literally the exact opposite of the boy who cried wolf parable...

Neal Auch @nealauch.bsky.social · 5d

It's all so frustratingly prudish, lol. Like I get just having a zero nudity policy, but parsing shit like "genitals are okay but not when they're engorged or being used for their intended purpose" just feels weird to me, lol.

Neal Auch @nealauch.bsky.social · 5d

Wow, I don't think I'd realized how limited the social media options are for explicitly sexual content... Here is fine, apparently, but even Substack and Tumblr are somewhat limiting. I guess here and fetlife and reddit are the exceptions.

Neal Auch @nealauch.bsky.social · 6d

“God has died, and His death was the birth of the world.“ – Philipp Mainlander

vanitas with roses and crucifix, by neal auch

Neal Auch @nealauch.bsky.social · 6d

Newsletter!

Neal Auch @nealauch.bsky.social · 7d

New email this Thursday! I'm gonna talk about Mailander. "God has died," he wrote, "and His death was the birth of the world."

Neal Auch @nealauch.bsky.social · 8d

Vanitas with Dice, Flowers, and Coins, by Neal Auch

Reposted by Neal Auch

Typebar Magazine (Issue 7 Out Now!!) @typebarmagazine.bsky.social · 18d

"To view our era as unprecedented is both chauvinist and defeatist. It flatters our desire to be special and also our desire to be absolved for our failures." -- Danny Cohen on our (un)exceptional present.

www.typebarmagazine.com/2025/08/29/w...

White Noise, Talk Radio, and Our Unexceptional Present - Typebar Magazine

To view our era as unprecedented is both chauvinist and defeatist.

www.typebarmagazine.com

Neal Auch @nealauch.bsky.social · 12d

It's weird little bug orgy season, apparently. I actually wrote a body horror story inspired by weird bug orgies a while back: Orange Frenzy l, published in issue 2 of Tenebrous Press' Skull and Laurel magazine.

Neal Auch @nealauch.bsky.social · 12d

Happy birthday!

Neal Auch @nealauch.bsky.social · 13d

"We are imperfect mortal beings, aware of that mortality even as we push it away, failed by our very complication, so wired that when we mourn our losses we also mourn, for better or for worse, ourselves. As we were. As we are no longer. As we will one day not be at all."

– Joan Didion

vanitas with flowers and lemons by neal auch

Neal Auch @nealauch.bsky.social · 13d

Neal Auch @nealauch.bsky.social · 13d

Light reading for the spooky season.

Neal Auch @nealauch.bsky.social · 14d

"The presence of death annihilates all superstitions. We are the children of death, and it is death that rescues us from the deceptions of life. In the midst of life he calls us and summons us to him.” – Sadegh Hedayat

vanitas with lemons and coins and teeth by neal auch

Neal Auch @nealauch.bsky.social · 16d

Skeptical...