Author | Lightnews

Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · 26d

sometimes I wish there was a camera crew watching me all the time because nobody will believe some of the insane shit that happened to me over the past year

Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · 28d

my kidneys hurt and i’m pissed about it

Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Oct 2

lol, just found out that the reason I have had such bad skill regression is trauma!

Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Sep 16

anyone else have like 30 seconds when your foot is waking up from being asleep where it lowkey feels like the end?

Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Sep 11

I hate when people shit on cannabis as an alternative to opioids for chronic pain patients.

Did I forget that I went to get a trash bag for the bathroom several times? Absolutely
But is my mental health taking a nosedive causing me to become someone I don’t recognize? No!

Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Sep 11

I be walking around like a surgeon after scrubbing up when I can’t find the towel after washing my hands

Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Sep 2

They could make handicap accessible stalls in bathrooms so much more accessible if they put a bag hook closer to the toilet

Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Sep 2

Anyone else ever get slight flank pain and think “oh no the energy drinks finally killed my kidneys”?

Just me?

Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Sep 2

My Face ID doesn’t recognize me half the time normally but somehow it worked when I had a slice of bread hanging out of my mouth?

Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Sep 2

when you accidentally bash your teeth on the bong

a man in a suit and tie stands next to another man in a yellow shirt and tie

ALT: a man in a suit and tie stands next to another man in a yellow shirt and tie

media.tenor.com

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Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Aug 30

just went to a witchery and felt connected to myself for the first time in monthd

Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Aug 17

*walked slowly because all my body is owie

BUT I WAS SKIPPING IN MY MIND

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Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Aug 17

new compliment just dropped!
“I can’t even tell if you are a boy or a girl” ~random angry man in the grocery store

I know he meant it as an insult, but my enby ass said “omg thank you so much” and skipped* away

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Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Aug 15

I hate it when shitting makes me nauseous like… bro why?

Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Aug 10

I can have red meat one day and be fine but heaven forbid I have it two days in a row

Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Aug 7

I needed to trim my kittens nails, so I spread a cat gogurt* on my arm for her to lick while I did them, and now that section of my arm is incredibly soft…

The lesson? Cat tongues are great exfoliators!

*what we call Churus and the like in this house lmao

Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Aug 6

Someone tell my kitten to stop being so freaking CUTE (jk tell her how adorable she is)

Tortoiseshell cat asleep in owners hand with tongue sticking out slightly

Tortoiseshell Cat curled up on tortilla blanket

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Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Jul 26

I never thought having a cat ball dropped on my head at 4am would bring me tears of joy but 9 months without seeing my cats really makes me appreciate the dumb, even annoying shit they do

Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Jul 19

going back to the place I lived with who I thought was the love of my life is gonna be ROUGH

Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Jul 4

don’t you hate when you get chip dust in your eyes trying to get the last of the crumbs

Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Jul 3

shaking my head like an etch-a-sketch to clear the bad thoughts

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Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Jul 2

the fact that I unironically started singing “close your eyes, shut your mouth, dream a dream and get us out” to myself last night when I couldn’t sleep

Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Jul 1

I want dippin dots so bad rn

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Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Jun 23

because my 3pm-6am awake time is BULLSHIT

Chaotic Mushroom Witch @mushroomwitch.bsky.social · Jun 23

anyone else with delayed sleep phase disorder get so frustrated because nothing is open when your eyes are?

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