Mr. Hallenbeck
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mrhallenbeck.bsky.social
Mr. Hallenbeck
@mrhallenbeck.bsky.social
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Now Reading: Blindsight by Peter Watts

I've only started this one, and we already have vampires being a real, predatory subspecies of humans that were accidentally brought back through genetic experimentation

and this is just a background detail in a sci-fi story about alien contact
yeah, I do the same, because I get these sudden feelings of heaviness and dread, like my body is preparing to be attacked again

but there's nothing there, and I need to tell myself that until it passes
Reposted by Mr. Hallenbeck
reminding myself "this is an injury," and getting the parasympathetic nervous system to chill the fuck out are super crucial. it's not a panacea but there are some attacks it's very helpful for. Just reminding the body "you are not in danger right now" helps
Reposted by Mr. Hallenbeck
one thing that helps me through the trauma is to tell myself "this is not happening right now, my mind is attempting to protect me by keeping me vigilant, but I am not presently in danger" and similar
had a "rough mental seas" kind of night the other day, with this voice echoing in the back of my head

and it took me a moment to realize whose words it was guiding me into the storm, and that I had to pull away from it to get into the clear waters
Reposted by Mr. Hallenbeck
my abuser repeatedly told me I'd never be anything without her because she made sure everyone thought it was all her doing.
one of the most difficult things to do after you've gotten away from an abuser, is convincing yourself that you are not the person they told you that you are

it's the last remnant of the power and control they tried to exert over you, to prevent you from giving yourself the kindness you deserve
Rouge (1987)

a tragedy in the form of ghost story, serving as a warning about romanticizing the past

Anita Mui is heartbreaking in her role as a ghost returning to Hong Kong 50 years after her death, looking for her lost lover that didn't cross over with her
so many sequences that linger in your brain afterward, including one of the most haunting final shots I've ever seen (especially after you learn more about the source material and its author)
YESSSSSSS, I remember recommending this one to you and Phil years ago

still need to watch the new restoration
make sure to go to social media and post your GPS coordinates every 30 minutes, to uhhh, inspire future generations
usually my reaction to a lot of newer horror has been "I wish this was weirder" or "it could've been trashier"

I have such a specific sweet spot when it comes to the genre
yeah, it's utterly misanthropic, which is on the polar opposite end from Tarkovsky

Kurosawa's story about drinking with Tarkovsky and hearing him sing the Seven Samurai theme is one of my favorite film anecdotes ever
oh yeah, there's also The Element of Crime, which von Trier said was heavily inspired by Tarkovsky

which is funny because reportedly Tarkovsky watched it and hated it
the closest to that I can think of would be Twilight (1990), but that's way more Bela Tarr than Tarkovsky (it was directed by one of Tarr's usual collaborators)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjtS...
TWILIGHT - Official Trailer (4K Restoration)
YouTube video by Arbelos
www.youtube.com
"it's like David Lynch went on a sake-fueled bender and shot a pinku movie in Tokyo!"

"it's like if Andrei Tarkovsky directed Zodiac!"

your bedroom door bursts open and a wizard repeatedly punches you in the crotch
entering into a blood pact with a powerful wizard to prevent letterboxd users from ever making inane and wildly inaccurate movie comparisons ever again
Only the River Flows (2023)

gotta love a police procedural that takes a left turn at "detective slowly loses his mind over an unsolvable case and the film itself unravels with him"

also, bonus points for being shot on 16mm and emulating the look of a 90s film to match the time period/setting
Grant Morrison stop handwaving the exploitation of creatives with whimsical-sounding bullshit for once (challenge level: impossible)
Lol, fuck off Grant
thoughts brought to you from listening to Random Access Memories again
the wrong machines died that day
thinking about how generative AI was what convinced Daft Punk to split up and retire

fucked up man
the wizard will learn in time that I have created humanity's greatest ally, and that we will need their help one day