Author | Lightnews

Moorepheme

Moorepheme

@moorepheme.bsky.social

7 followers 22 following 130 posts

So is there someone who'll tell you you're insane or do you have to, like, eat people first?

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Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 8h

Way to go! America's #1! Call Jon Favreau!

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 8h

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 9h

Meanwhile...

#immigration #dystopia

Split image of thousands of runners crossing a New York City Bridge, with a picture of migrants running from teargas beneath a vacation billboard superimposed over the right side.

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 9h

Not subtle, but definitely sneaky.

#christmascreep

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 18h

Said with the conviction of someone looking to hookup at a grocery store.

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 18h

I have no idea what the criteria are for judging, what the winner gets, or how much galena I should have in my protein powder, but voted anyway as soon someone told me what to think.

I'm also naming my daughter 'Galeighna' because it sounds pretteigh.

#merica #votelead #nayhmes

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 21h

Chaos bisexual dave sounds like the handle of the russian hacker who will invalidate the penguin of the year election.

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 1d

I think it would be good if when guys came, some confetti should shoot out.

It seems so anticlimactic as is.

#celebrate

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 1d

Especially if you used to work at Amazon and are crashing it.

"WHY DON'T YOU HAVE AI ASK ME TO LEAVE QUIETLY, MEAGHAN??"

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 2d

With pink paint, this defacing could have been much, much worse.

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 2d

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 3d

Fortunately our justice department is reinforced by an infallible backstop: true-crime documentaries and the 145 million viewers solving crimes on their couch while eating doritos.

Justice = Doritos

#truecrime #coolranchluke

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 3d

I think there's a coffee table book in your future.

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 3d

And 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡'𝑠 what they're wearing?

Darlings...

#fashionpolice

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 3d

(So fun but wow: letting me watch that so young was some really questionable parenting.)

#momoftheyear #ididitforme

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 3d

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 4d

I feel like the next crazy ass thing to distract us will be banning cereals for being too woke.

#cerealwars #toucanunclesam

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 5d

Its ironic we work jobs that take away our will to live for the healthcare benefits.

#livetowork #gogetter

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 6d

I'm consistently amazed how eager, encouraging, even aroused men are, about their girlfriends and wives watching other taller, younger, more athletic men run around in tight clothing on TV.

...maybe the whole "bi-curious fantasy" isn't as one-sided as I thought.

#fantasyfootball #sports

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 6d

"That is very impressive."

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 6d

This looks like a closeup of an old couch.

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 6d

A FEW HUNDRED? FROM ONE TREE? Okay, next time I go to the store I'm just taking some.

Unless it's Weis, because they won't have any.

#applanche

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 7d

Me, every single time:

#meme #notouchy

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 8d

I dunno...that seems like an awful long time to wait for pie.

I suppose that's no different than me trying to grow a future husband by stealing my older cousin's yearbook and texting people, pretending to be their attractive classmates.

Or chorus teachers.

#cougarini #ageisjustanumber

Moorepheme @moorepheme.bsky.social · 8d

That sounds suspiciously like what a cat would say, FDR ...or should I say: R.D.F. ...or 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑎𝑦: 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐃𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐅𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞!

AH HA!

#ventrilocat