Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jul 4

Happy 4th of July or as dogs call it, K9/11

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jul 2

BREAKING: Alderaan Senator lobbies to change name of Death Star to "Boom Moon"

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jul 1

guy wearing MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN HAT and TRUMP 2028 neck tattoo at Piggly Wiggly finding out his food stamps are no longer valid

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jun 27

suspect identified as Greg Gardens

(forgive me, the world is collapsing and all I've got in my arsenal is a $40 gift card to Cheesecake Factory and obscure movie references that maybe 10 people will get)

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jun 17

the McRib must be back

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jun 14

they should show it as a double feature with Scum

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jun 14

Trump upon hearing the assassinations in Minnesota have upstaged his big boy birthday parade

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jun 10

unlike Vietnam or Afghanistan at least the Marines coming to.L.A. know exactly what this fight is all about

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jun 10

FOX News desperately trying to make a Rodney King riot out of a Donna Martin Graduates chant

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jun 7

this YouTube video of Stretch Armstrong in a microwave has over 60 million views
I swear if YouTube was around when I was a kid I'd be richer than Mr. Beast

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jun 6

don't worry everyone, I'm certain this feud between the adderall junkie with the nuclear codes and the ketamine addict with all our social security numbers is just a tiny bump in the road towards American prosperity and greatness

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jun 6

it's like the bees from My Girl have turned on each other and I'm trying to figure out which one to root for

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 27

the only certainties in life are death, taxes, and if you sit at an outdoor café in the valley Jay Leno will drive by

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 15

saw a bobcat on my run this morning but didn't have a camera to document it so I bought this t-shirt to commemorate the occasion

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 13

1184 BC - in one of the most cunning military maneuvers ever conceived the Greeks build a large wooden horse as a gift to Troy who are unaware soldiers hide inside ready to to sack the city and end the Trojan War

2025 -

Olga Nesterova @onestpress.onestnetwork.com · May 13

As part of the red-carpet treatment, Saudi officials arranged for a fully operational mobile McDonald’s unit to accompany President Trump during his stay.

According to local reports, the unit was set up near the Saudi Royal Court.

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 11

Happy Mother's Day to my mom who on my 10th birthday took me and my friends to see Xanadu because she thought it was a sequel to Star Wars

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 10

flyby outside my window in honor of me getting Wordle in just two tries

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 9

Yuma, if only to hear him recite Psalm 3:10

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 9

American Pope sounds like a screenplay that's been bouncing around Hollywood for decades with everyone from Robert Redford to Pauly Shore attached at some point

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 7

take any side street in North Hollywood and you'll instantly be transported into a 1970's educational film about the dangers of hitchhiking
MattOswaltPhoto.com

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 6

he didn't even acknowledge what I did for him, but that's ok, a real hero operates in the shadows.

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 6

delivery guy on scooter pulled right in front of me but thanks to my superhuman dexterity I was able to swerve around him sparing his life and all the precious Thai food he was entrusted with.
I feel like my work here on Planet Earth is done.

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 5

his duet of 'Too-Ra-Loo-Ra-Loo-Ral' with Tom Skerritt after they've been cocooned is a show stopper

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 4

when someone wishes me a Happy May the Fourth...

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Apr 30

you can keep your PhD's, I want a leader with the courage to stare directly into a solar eclipse until it backs down

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