Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 14h

I'd say pretty solidly above average, just from my own scientific studies

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Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 14h

Wait, where?

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Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 14h

Yes, great minds DO spend a Tuesday evening instructing a newly horny AI to write them a story about how they got real swole under the orders of a fairytale witch, alike

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Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 15h

It's so close to a Doctor Who episode....

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Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 15h

Again, i'd like it on the record that I photograph extremely well. Like, model well. But, of course, I can only do that when I'm photographed exclusively by professionals at an angle that does most of the work for me, If I'm honest

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Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 15h

Okay, but if a twink with a "decent face and better than average dick" fetish comes by, I saw him first

Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 15h

"Why does his beauty look so nasty tho?" is the widely accepted dystopian government's response

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Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 15h

If you come for my one and only gig right now I swear to christ...

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Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 15h

"I'm an enigmatic beauty!" I'll scream as I get sent off to the Twilight Zone ugly camps

Still from Eye of the Beholder, a season 2 episode of The Twilight Zone, where hot people are considered too ugly to exist, and the prevailing beauty standard is "weird pig faced monsters." But the protagonist is just sent off to live with all the hot people in the wasteland, where I assume they all just live like Burning Man and have a ton of smelly but sexy desert orgies

I'd probably bang one of the pig faced mutants once, tho, just to say I've done it

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Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 15h

No, you don't understand. I photograph VERY well, but only from an angle I haven't discovered yet

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Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 16h

I dunno, there's only so far you can go with "directly behind the back of the head"

Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 16h

Someone's coming for my gig I see

Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 16h

Okay, my toxic takes took 3/4 of my ass to compose, and I'll thank you to recognize that

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Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 16h

Oh my poor sweet naif, that's not why they want to stop it...

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Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 16h

Oh man, how did my ChatGPT erotica prompt get posted to your bsky?

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Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 17h

I'll find it someday...

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Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 17h

I have one of those faces that only looks good from a certain angle, and as soon as I find that angle? Oh you bitches are done

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Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 17h

Big, yes, but bigger than normal? I think we need to do some more research

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Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 1d

I wouldn't pie her because she wants to be pied. She doesn't believe anything, she just says things that'll make people yell at her. It's classic brat behavior and normally I'm down for that kinda stuff, but I don't like that she's trying to involve me in her fetish without my consent

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Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 1d

We don't throw enough pies anymore

Queerazon.com @queerazon.bsky.social · 1d

On this day in queer history: Oct 14, 1977

During a live TV appearance in Iowa, anti-gay activist Anita Bryant was hit with a pie in protest of her “Save Our Children” campaign. A sweet moment of queer resistance.

#QueerHistory #LGBTQHistory #QueerResistance #AnitaBryant

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Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 1d

He's seen it

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Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 1d

Sissy Fist would be a good name for something, I dunno. It's where you go to get your rocks off? Finish these jokes for me, I'm sleepy

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Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 1d

Can get it, idc

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Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 1d

If you eat three 2pc tenders and two 3pc, you'll starve with a full belly though, like mal de caribou but with chicken tendies

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Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer @lighterfandango.bsky.social · 1d

But whenever he got to the top, Sisyphus's hole was dry again

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