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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️

@jewinacanoe.bsky.social

4.6K followers 1.8K following 2.2K posts

MANY POSTS ARE HUMOR AND NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY Proud Jew ✡️ memoir OUT FROM THE SHADOW published by Amsterdam Publishing. Repped by Bonnie Swanson of FinePrint Lit.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · Mar 18

Selected as Runner up for the best memoir at the New York Book Festival and best seller on Amazon.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2h

My neighbour is Egyptian and he walks like a Canadian.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2h

Thanksgiving is a fake holiday that someone created to seek revenge against turkeys.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2h

Whatever doesn’t kill you, leaves you with PTSD, a dark sense of humour, and a lot of therapy.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2h

I was cleaning out my desk and wondering if anyone needs a Sony Discman or a BlackBerry Bold.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 12h

I want to post that my friend Zola from Cape Town, South Africa composed and sang You'll Be Home in honour of the hostages. A beautiful piece of work.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-L3A...

You'll Be home - Song for Hostages Returned and for Innocent lives lost - ZOLA

YouTube video by Zola

www.youtube.com

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 1d

Are you okay

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 1d

Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?

Me: Because you follow me on Twitter?

Cop: No.

Me: Um, instagram?

Cop: No.

Me: America's Most Wanted?

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 1d

Cop: What's in the bottle that you've been drinking from?

Me: It's my lunch.

Cop: it looks like vodka.

Me: It's potato soup but in a clear broth.

Cop: I need you to step outside the car.

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 1d

I'm not a lawyer, scientist or doctor but I have chatGPT and Google so you are in good hands.

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 1d

My doctor's office asked me to fax them some information so I climbed into my time machine and set it for 1988.

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 1d

The other day I was taking a package of Charmin toilet paper from a stack at Costco when the display fell on me. My doctor said it was just a soft tissue injury.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2d

a cartoon frog is holding a sign that says yeah no

ALT: a cartoon frog is holding a sign that says yeah no

media.tenor.com

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2d

Is peace possible in the middle east?

open.substack.com/pub/willieha...

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2d

I can't believe that MySpace has introduced two-factor authorization to log in. Tom has disappointed me.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2d

A big shoutout to the people over 50 because I know y'all don't hear so good.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2d

How can you call yourself a door?

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2d

I woke up this morning with some positive news and a little bit of hope. Hope that people choose peace over war. Hope that people choose to listen instead of talking. Hope that people build rather than destroy.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 3d

In case you have nine lives.

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 3d

Hey Eric

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 3d

Therapist: Tell me when you believe your relationship with your son deteriorated.

Me: I don't have a son.

Therapist: Oh, right. Sorry. Why don't you focus on your depression.

Me: I'm not depressed.

Therapist: Stan, are you trying to gaslight me?

Me: My name is Willie.

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 3d

We went to Costco to stock up on some basics - bottled water, milk, bread, coffee, an above ground swimming pool, and a gym membership.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 3d

Remember during the pandemic when they told us we couldn’t have family gatherings?

Those were the days.

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 3d

“To hate is like taking poison, and hoping the other will die. But you are poisoned. We are poisoned. Don’t spend time hating. I know we get hurt sometimes, people hurt us. People bully us. Don’t waste time hating those people.”
- Toronto Holocaust survivor Elly Gotz

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 3d

My wife has informed me that I can no longer answer my phone with "what the fuck do you want?"

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 4d

There are now tariffs on dirty thoughts.

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