Author | Lightnews

Jared Buckert

@jaredbuckert.bsky.social

610 followers 430 following 850 posts

I'm a homesteading gearhead with a fancy mustache who watches too much Star Trek. https://linktr.ee/jared_buckert

linktr.ee

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Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 8h

Don't worry Ensign. This isn't nearly the biohazard that last week's Ghost Pepper And Pickled Beet Hasperat was.

Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 1d

Usually warp plasma alone doesn't do that. Chief, did you add a new secret ingredient?

Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 1d

The blue stuff? I thought that was asparagus souffle.

Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 1d

a man in an orange shirt and blue hat is saying `` you can 't see me . ''

ALT: a man in an orange shirt and blue hat is saying `` you can 't see me . ''

media.tenor.com

Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 2d

Attention all station personnel:

Sign this petition if you think Chief should keep the frosted tips after we get him un-Tuvixed from the mayor of Flavortown®.

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Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 2d

All of our repair crews are busy tonight. They're doing something called a "scary movie marathon"? I don't know what that means, but they said if the plasma turns fuschia hail them again.

Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 3d

I'm a human. We don't have money.

Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 4d

Hey Chief, is that plasma leak all part of the fun or so I need to call a repair team?

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Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 4d

Post something random or you'll have an awful November.

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Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 5d

Pike was burnt out in the very first episode. But that might have also had some shades of PTSD attached.

Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 5d

Aw man, I wanted chorizo. Hey Chief, toss me one of those over there!

Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 6d

I wish I could say "that's just your imagination, kid", but there are three reasons why I can't.

1) Copyright infringement
2) You're older than me (respectfully)
C) Everyone should have a very bad feeling about ALL of this

Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 6d

Literally everything. Even my new boots smell like a Yankee Candle made sweet sweet love to a Bath and Body Works in the middle of a Starbucks.

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Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 7d

Shows how much I know. I thought she married Orlando Bloom.

Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 8d

I only ask because Quark is advertising it as some kind of Bajoran meditation space. I think your secret is out.

Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 8d

Which one? There's three. No two. Now three. Now one. Now three again. Will all of you stop phasing in and out of each other!?!

Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 9d

Are you talking about the vent just above waste reclamation?

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Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 9d

Isn't this just breathing into a paper bag with more steps?

Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 9d

Then I'm going to need more than just a tricorder.

Reposted by Jared Buckert

dinoloverx2.bsky.social @dinoloverx2.bsky.social · 11d

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Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 10d

Chief, I need a tricorder. I can't tell if my spoon is warping because of the chili or if there's a distortion of the space-time continuum on the Promenade.

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Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 10d

Hey Chief I think I have a solution to the problems with the transpo-- oh my God why is the feather duster there‽ @elimgarak240b.bsky.social you should lock the door next time!

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Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 12d

Are you starting a league, Chief? Sign me up, but just remember that I don't roll on the Gratitude Festival!

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Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 13d

Honestly, the building is just a building. But his flippant attitude towards everything that building represents is what's truly insidious.

Jared Buckert @jaredbuckert.bsky.social · 13d

Kat: "Israel killed tens of thousands of Palestinians."
AIPAC: "Well, Hamas started it..."

I believe that's called enabling.