Author | Lightnews

Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Apr 9

I guess... The whole global economy is just waiting for enough people in Congress to decide it's time to take away the tariff keys from Grandpa?

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Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Apr 4

Im ready for my uncle to remind me how he couldnt possibly vote for Tim Walz because he called someone a dipshit, and that was very unpresidential.

Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Apr 3

(All in my opinion) Tesla was like a Ponzi scheme, that also made cars, long before #Elon tanked the brand. Those red dashes are Tesla insiders dumping car coins. Musk can’t sell (presumably) without triggering a death spiral, and he borrows against the shares. Elizabeth Holmes has nothing on Musk.

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Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Mar 29

Why does merit sound so much like nepotism? Must be the woke mind virus.

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Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Mar 29

It's not a conspiracy theory. It's a question.

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Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Mar 14

If you imagined a world where Trump was a Manchurian candidate trying to destroy US power in the world and undermine our economy-- would he really be doing anything differently?

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Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Mar 13

We need to see the unedited tape. Sam says there was even more insane positions.

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Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Mar 12

Probably another brilliant rebrand from the very stable genius's first buddy.

Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Mar 12

I know what youre thinking, fascism cant possibly be this clownishly incompetent... and I assure you, this is actually surprisingly a normal amount of incompetence for fascists.

...This is maybe... you know, a reason not to elect them.

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Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Mar 11

For years, people would look at me strangely when I said I didnt have/want a debit card. If a scammer gets your pin or auth code they can drain your account-- they are inherently risky. You should 100% only ever use it at an ATM you trust for cash-- if you have one at all.

From the Scams community on Reddit

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Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Mar 11

So what country are y'all thinking youll tell people you're from next time youre abroad? Easy option is Canada... but Im wondering if I can go without spit in my food if I say New York.

Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Mar 10

So... the guy with access to all of our personal data, and who is going around as "tech support" and firing tons of "unnecessary" people in the govt. Yeah, well, his platform went down from hacking or a DDOS. Idiocracy.

Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Mar 4

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Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Mar 4

Canada to put a 100% tariff on Teslas??? #elon

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Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Mar 3

Elon bragging about not going to therapy as some virtue...

For people who hate socialism, they sure dont mind socializing their emotional issues onto the rest of us.

Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Mar 2

Thats a good start-- but really, what we're all wondering is what else can you do for JD and Trump. Their feelings are awfully hurt and it's going to take a lot for them to recover from the great insult of not being complimented enough.

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Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Mar 2

Tesla is absurdly overvalued as an auto stock and just a bad deal as a tech stock. Luckily for investors, it’s a magical thinking stock—and business is booming in that department. Sure, I can cut $2T from the $50B USAID budget. Easy!

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Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Mar 2

To be fair, Elon is at war too. War with civil servants, war with baby mamas, war with a trans daughter and most of all, a war against fashion.

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Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Mar 2

Trump in a timemachine (1943): Churchill was very mean to me and thats not how you make a deal, Churchill. Hitler told me how you provoked this war, and now only Trump can get you out. I dont see what's in it for us. Time to get a new attitude Churchill or youre country is going to the dogs.

Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Mar 2

Vance and Trump were upset that Zelensky visited during an election, suggesting it was implicit endorsement.

Gosh... I wonder why he might've wanted to endorse Biden (or Harris) over Trump. Real mystery there.

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Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Mar 1

Meanwhile, Zuck and Musk out here acting offended and like you just threatened to take them to gulag.

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Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Feb 28

I never realized being "Respected Again in the World" would feel like being the embarrassing jackass Grandpa whose family doesnt talk to him anymore.

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Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Feb 28

I could only watch that... like 10 seconds at a time. It was the cringiest thing Ive ever seen.

Episodes of The Office have nothing on Trump and Vance in The Oval Office.

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Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Feb 28

My god. Watching Donald Trump and JD Vance lecture Zelensky has got to be one of the most embarrassing and shameful things Ive ever witnessed. Heartbreaking.

Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨 @itsmikesaltzman.bsky.social · Feb 28

Increasingly, we are just watching super cringe episodes of the office. This is Michael offering laptops batteries in lieu of the college scholarship he promised.

The Oval Office show is nightmare fuel... Still, now I want to see a Steve Carell parody of this circus. Hang in there Zelensky 😓