Author | Lightnews

Golly Shannon

@gollyshannon.bsky.social

46 followers 75 following 410 posts

I'm just an old lady who talks to cats, plants, and The Void... Writing on the bathroom wall of the Net since the 90s.

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Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 5h

The nice thing about walking to work is that every day I'm taking a significant risk and it feels like "une victoire formidable"

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 5h

Do you suppose a bit of sausage is an acceptable treat? I asked the cats, but they said Nothing.

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 11h

DJ Afrosia on YouTube got me in the proper headspace every time

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 1d

Où est le plombier? Putain de merde!

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 1d

Ç'est ardu, mes amis.
Je me résigne.
Cauchemar ennuyeux!

#haiku en français

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 1d

Cette journée est trop pénible.

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 1d

I took my medicine and I'm sitting down but my heart is doing its angry pitter‐patter regardless

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 1d

This is a terrible Monday.

That means the rest of the week will be super duper... right?

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 2d

I met a friend.

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 2d

Oh I see someone actually did some work while I was gone for 24 hours, wow

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 2d

It was only when I stepped outside myself and watched me
Gnaw a whole bagel while climbing the hill
In beret & Irish wool that I realized

I'm a weird creature who needs no costume

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 3d

How you gonna call me to ask me a question and then tell me I'm wrong?

I really love men in real life but they make it SO HARD

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 3d

I don't even like answering the phone, and this job is making me actively hate it.

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 3d

I think: if I have to speak to men on the phone all day, I'd like to be paid more for the hassle.

They call me from their cars and workshops, it's loud, sometimes the English is minimal, and they seldom know exactly what they want.

And when they do, I don't have it, and they want to insist I do.

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 3d

More band names

Probable Fanfare
Nightcap at the Convent
The Glitter Pioneers
Yoke and the Album Men
Funicular Staircase
Tiptoe Tsunami

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 3d

Men: "I want this Thing but I'm not even sure what it is, can you find it for me?"
Myself: <finds it>
Men: "I don't think that's it."

I may actually become a murderess.

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 3d

And a note to all men:

If you don't know what in the fuck you're looking for, then how the fuck are we supposed to know?

Fuck you for calling, get your shit together, then we can talk.

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 3d

Like if you can't match a picture to an item, maybe you shouldn't be fucking shopping for your job... just a thought

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 3d

Here I am, still wondering how the profoundly stupid manage to get and keep a job...

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 3d

My favorite part of my day is when no one asks me any questions about anything.

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 4d

Gabby in Fort Wayne can get fucked. Fuck you and your fake religious bullshit, Gabby you dumb cunt.

This message is brought to you by the letter B for Bitch Shut the Fuck Up.

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 4d

Making a list of #bandnames

Peeping Fossils
Crustal Newsreel
Simile Anthology
Senator Nemesis
Diorama Tremors
Debauchery Apologist
Aluminum Grandson

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 4d

Trick or treating isn't what it was in the 1980s when I was little. I grew up in a little village where you could wander for hours even after dark.

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 4d

I'm still thinking about that sweetly grumpy Russian boyfriend of my dream lmao

Golly Shannon @gollyshannon.bsky.social · 4d

PEP SI (NEEDS TO REMEMBER ITS ROOTS) FOR DYS PEP SIA