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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy
@docfancy.bsky.social
340 followers 170 following 3K posts
Writer, singer, marine biologist. Enjoys making smartarse remarks and quips, getting the laughs, explaining things with nerdy enthusiasm, and ranting, but tries to make the rants entertaining as penance. I am back in my house in the woods. (she/her)
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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · Jan 22
Seems timely to cross-post a thread of mine from the Bad Place, about karyotyping: essentially, examining people’s chromosomal arrangements.

This can be done for many reasons, but in this case, I’m focusing on bigoted arsehats thinking they should test for sex chromosomes.

Copy pasta, let’s go!

🧵
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Reposted by Doc Fancy
themountaingoats.bsky.social
the Mountain Goats @themountaingoats.bsky.social · 5h
starter packs are old model. now we make finisher packs that liberate you from discourse
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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 6h
I am just so psyched the sanding is done. I may have a Victory Nap™️ in celebration.

Take care, don’t have a giant tree fall through your house,
-Doc out 🏡
docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 6h
Once we’ve got the walls finished, we set up for the final building inspection (at which time we ensure I am not on the property because I may have rage), and when THAT’S done, there’s a few odds and ends to tidy up.

But the end is in sight.

Four years, three months and one week since the storm.
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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 6h
I just had a very intense remedial massage with dry needling due to all the sanding, possibly including standing on my toes holding the orbital sander over my head, along with some very odd maneuverings to assemble and disassemble the scaffold.

I plan zero physical activity for the rest of today.
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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 6h
IT IS DONE.

The entirety of the house exterior has been sanded back. Everything but this wall has had fire retardant oil applied. The front left and rear right sections of wall have two coats of stain and a topcoat.

The front right, rear left, and half the west wall have one coat.

Getting there.
A house wall of cedar logs, sanded back to bare wood. There is a scaffold positioned below the peak of the roof.
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erinbiba.bsky.social
Erin Biba @erinbiba.bsky.social · 1d
Three panel cartoon by Wawa wiwa comics An octopus, a shark and a jellyfish are talking to each other Octopus: I once saw a human and peed myself Shark: a human saw and peed himself Jellyfish: a human touched me once and his friend peed on him Octopus: dude… Shark: what?
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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 1d
Anyways, I am extremely psyched that this chapter might soon be done and we can put the sanders away in the shed. The spare room is a goddamn mess.

Stay safe, wear good hearing protection (mine has bluetooth!),
-Doc out 🏡 🪜
docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 1d
For the overwrought plan, see below.

…my entire family is like this on my dad’s side. We cannot help ourselves.
Double page spread in a notebook, entitled “Project: WalkThe Plank.” Various messy diagrams, labels and measurements for pieces of scaffolding and width of available space and angles of slopes. It is a mess. Gaze not into this abyss for too long.
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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 1d
I mean it *barely* fits. I needed 1350mm and that’s what I got. Can’t turn the handle to raise the level, let alone the wheels.

But thank god, my overwrought and complex backup plan will not be needed.
Scaffold up against the side of a house. All wooden plank have been stripped back to bare wood, except one section, beneath which a scaffold waits. The wheel base of a scaffold, jammed right ip against a retaining wall. The wheel base of a scaffold, jammed up against the colorbond subfloor.
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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 1d
So I decided to work the problem, and went outside to take a bunch of measurements.

And — just on a whim — I thought I would double check the “scaffold won’t fit” measurements.

IT FITS.
docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 1d
But, counterpoint:

OH MY GOD WE ARE SO CLOSE.
Wall of a log house with a peaked roof, next to a scaffold, with a ladder visible on one end. Two planks sticking out from the scaffold are just barely visible at the bottom of the image. The entire wall has been stripped back to bare wood, except for one small section near the top.
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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 1d
(PS the only reason I haven’t mentioned the 13 year old rag doll is because he doesn’t really need parenting, just food and cuddles. Sometimes toys. Also arthritis shots.)
docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 1d
Project: "Walk The Plank" is likely to go into effect at some point over the next few days if I can convince my sooky lala flesh machine to step up.

also if I can convince Husband that this will not usher in my premature demise and thus leave him a widowed single dad to a 15 month old Rottweiler.
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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 1d
But, counterpoint:

OH MY GOD WE ARE SO CLOSE.
Wall of a log house with a peaked roof, next to a scaffold, with a ladder visible on one end. Two planks sticking out from the scaffold are just barely visible at the bottom of the image. The entire wall has been stripped back to bare wood, except for one small section near the top.
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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 1d
Sensible people: "This activity I have been undertaking appears to be taking a toll on my body. I should take a break, or at least slow down."

Me: "The body is throwing up an amber light and I need to speed the fuck up and get this done before it turns red."

In other news: ow.
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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 2d
I’ve said it before and I’ll keep fucking saying it:

It’s not a yard. It’s an ADVENTURE.

Take care, three points of contact,
-Doc out 🏡 🪜
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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 2d
—we MUST sand the planks down (and apply fire retardant oil as a condition of our building permit), and we DON’T have a scaffold-friendly space and we DON’T have a ladder-friendly surface and I *am* going to be teetering on a fucking plank with an orbital sander.

I mean. I like a challenge!
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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 2d
Because, thanks to a series of deeply problematic policies around building regulations, and certain persons that we — and our builder — are unable to ignore, and the fact that it rains a lot and the soil is the consistency of sponge cake—
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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 2d
I can sand inside the cut-out (which you can’t see, but it’s the narrow surface where the wall changes depth, and it can only be done with the multi-tool, and the sanding head has to be rotated into different positions to manage it).

But after that, we have to resolve this conundrum.
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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 2d
So: tomorrow (weather permitting, and also Husband’s online work meeting schedule permitting, as the dulcet tones of the Festool Rotex are not conducive to managerial discussion), I can sand those lower bits to 120, standing on the two pine sleepers (very stable, because they’re on a stump).
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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 2d
The other side of that wall *was* accessed by ladder, and I was able to stabilise those with some very precisely chosen bits of wood, but it got a little bit hairy up the top of the Bailey, and the path is actually not as bad there.

It’s terrible.

It is *less* terrible.
Side of a house with two ladders up against the wall. You can’t see how they’re propped up. That’s for the best. You don’t want to see that.
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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 2d
Three meters off the ground. With an orbital sander. Standing on a couple of pine sleepers balanced between the scaffold and a ladder (preferably two ladders).

Ideally.

The ladder.

WILL BE ON A FLAT FUCKING SURFACE.

WHICH WE DO NOT FUCKING HAVE.

THIS IS HOW I DIE.
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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 2d
Well. Because at this point, there is only one solution anyone has been able to come up with to access that part of the wall — including by myself, Husband, and builder (who has worked in the hills for years and had to solve such problems creatively):

Two planks of wood and a ladder.
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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 2d
The process was of, uh, sub-brick subsidence was accelerated and now had a whole extra axis of effect.

Builder has replaced the bricks but the damage is done. The path that was kind of shit and unsafe before is now hilariously precipitous.

Why does this matter, you ask?
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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 2d
Over time, the dirt underneath the bricks washes down the hill. Those steps weren’t flat when we bought the place but they have sagged considerably since then.

See that subfloor? That stops the dirt flowing out of the SIDES of the path.

My house did not *have* a subfloor for… an extended period.
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docfancy.bsky.social
Doc Fancy @docfancy.bsky.social · 2d
At least until it rains again and something blocks the flow of mud from uphill, like a fallen tree, which happens a lot.

Which is how I found a gigantic pile of scrap metal and FUCKING ASBESTOS buried in my yard, but that’s a tale for another time.

What matters is the bricks.

Ah yes. The bricks.
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