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@djaliplume.bsky.social
31 followers 22 following 910 posts
Hi I'm a Danish. I'm a blind. I'm a scruffy looking goat herder. I'm a diabeetle. I come in peace, when I remember to close the door. // dumb shit, inane jokes, nsfw tomfoolery, whatever.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 9h
What's the link to the gofundme for the American military again? We all need to do our part in these trynig times.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 20h
Hope everything went well!
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 1d
Cuntsutawney Phil
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 2d
Shoutout to the guy sitting next to me in the bus, coughing wheezing and sneezing. If I get sick I'm going to hunt you down like I'm Liam Neeson and you looked at my daughter wrong.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 2d
Are you sure they aren't just demolishing the White House Landscaping Company?
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 4d
I will need to try that.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 4d
I need a big sign that says 'no reality please' on the front lawn of my giant mansion, i need reality to stay the fuck off my lawn
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 5d
I have an alibi. Look, it's not even possible to train goats to do something like that, I don't know why you'd even bring it up, laughs nervously.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 5d
I wonder if Thom Yorke brushes his hair in the morning.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 5d
How do you turn vibrating mode off?
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 6d
It's like King Ralph doesn't even exist, John Goodman must be rolling in his grave.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 7d
Lasse is the loneliest number
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 7d
Well this didn't get the traction I had expected. Guess I have to go back to my boss and tell him that letter of resignation was just a prank.
Damn algorithm. Fkn thing sucks. WE'LL DO IT LIVE
djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 8d
You're fucking welcome. Feel free to turn off the internet for the rest of the day, it's not going to get any better than this.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 8d
If I ever meet Rowan Atkinson, I am totally going to flick the Mr Bean.
*drops mic*
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 8d
"This guy's gonna buy all my Laserdiscs, but he's gonna pay me in crypto"-.
Favourite line of the day so far. Although it is only 9:16 am, so we'll have to see how it goes.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 9d
What the world needs now is soup, sweet soup.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 9d
That I can understand. Monarchy is fantasy and makebelieve. Soup is reality and the powerful force that governes our lives.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 9d
Denmark is pretty cool. Don't think we don't have some dark shit in our history too, though!
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 9d
And interment camps. Intermittent fasting has me higer than a kite. Alright shut up now me you here
djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 9d
"women not being allowed to work". Sheesh I need to read what I've written before hitting the post button.
Either that or a damn edit button would be nice. I meant vote, obvs
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 9d
I would bow to a butterfly before I ever bow to a king.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 9d
It's hard to be against monarchy in Denmark because we had the bestest queen, she did illustrations for the Danish release of The Hobbit for chrissakes. We got super lucky with her. But as an institution monarchy is just soo last century dude.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 9d
I feel like monarchiees and royal families are like.. slavery and women not being allowed to work and interment camps and shit, we should know better by now. Just because people in the past were okay with fucked up shit doesn't mean we have to be now.
Just had to get that off my high horse's chest.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 9d
..better than you. So you're going to expect them to act like they're not better than you? That they're not above the law? 1 being brought up like that could absolutely completely mess you up and 2 the whole point is they are above the law and better than you, you're ac ommoner they're royalty.
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