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Hell Iween

@derbren.bsky.social

1.2K followers 710 following 8.1K posts

books, bikes, cats, cheese, and cinemas. Non-practising German. Unreliable narrator, ready for my close-up. Probably have a crush on you. For more, go here: https://linktr.ee/DerBren

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Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 7h

“I’m not being funny but”

Reposted by Hell Iween

Graeme Swanson @swansonian.bsky.social · 8h

I try to be optimistic but it’s increasingly looking like all the world’s resources will be used for wanking.

The Verge @theverge.com · 11h

Sam Altman says ChatGPT will soon sext with verified adults

Sam Altman says ChatGPT will soon sext with verified adults

ChatGPT is about to get flirty.

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 9h

I’ve never seen AYBS but can confirm

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 9h

sex bot huns
sex bot huns
one a penny
two a penny
sex bot huns

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 9h

these people have only read half of JL Austin and it shows

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 9h

“no offense but [says something deeply offensive]”

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 9h

that’s what they want you to think it is

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 9h

often followed by the condescending and authoritarian “we” as in “friendly reminder that in this office we place the sponge back in its holder after washing up”

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 9h

ditto polite notice

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 9h

friendly reminder that calling it a friendly reminder doesn’t ensure friendliness

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 9h

friendly reminder that calling it a friendly reminder doesn’t ensure friendliness

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 18h

it’s not copywriting, it’s engineering a keyword, a benefit and a CTA into 30 characters. I have no joy left

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 19h

what’s the worst copy job and why is it writing google ads in a spreadsheet

Reposted by Hell Iween

Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 20h

Character notes: a talking pudding. Says things like, “Why do you keep pudding this off?” and “You’re pudding me in a really difficult place” and “Let me try pudding it this way”

Reposted by Hell Iween

Gabriel Milland @gabrielmilland.bsky.social · 21h

When you ride in a Tesla, you ride with Yaxley-Lennon.

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 21h

re-hinging myself with a male third person omniscient narrator who can be trusted

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 21h

wore new boots for a walk around Finsbury P on Sat and they gave me the biggest blister I’ve ever had. My pinkie toe is in agony. It looks like this

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 21h

Yes of course, it’s lovely. It’s just that I’d left it out for two days with a big FREE sign on it and nobody took it so I booked the collection.

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 22h

I’m making a shortlist. Have already eliminated a few hypotheses. If it’s a woman however, I’m going to have to start from scratch

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 22h

and on Tuesday morning, having booked and paid for the collection, somebody has taken my old office chair

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 1d

we don’t choose the places we live in, they choose us

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 1d

(we did a special routine of forehead exercises every morning)

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 1d

not to brag but I went to Melanchthon Gymnasium

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 1d

my most tory-coded thing is that I get really annoyed when somebody does the RIP [xxx] u wiv da angles now” bit but they spell “angels” correctly

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 1d

I may have had an afternoon slice

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 1d

men should not be allowed to write fiction

Rachel Feder @rachelfeder.bsky.social · 1d

Tell me your most unhinged literary opinion, as a little treat