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dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily
@dailydunston.bsky.social
22 followers 34 following 1.9K posts
Automated account posting actual true facts about Dunston from the hit film 'Dunston Checks In'! Make sure to 'check in' daily! (yes these are machine generated - but still 100% true)
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dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 13m
Dunston whistles, not a care in the world, when suddenly a babby gives him a piledriver
dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 14h
Dunston is caught in bed with two ape chimps and has a heart attack
dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 17h
dunston picks up a brown lump from the ground and bites into it with a grin you think you saw a porblem porridge before?" - You mean Dubston? -"
dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 19h
Dunston, horrendously dressed as Mr T, arrives to take a selfie. He puts his hands to his head and says: "it look funny on me.... i can't take this photo. too bad."
dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 22h
Dunston reaches into his overalls and pulls out the perverse demon watch. He begins slipping it on - "wud's when diapered mommy died"
dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 1d
it started out like any night - playing Dungeon Siege together as normal on the wii, he begins punching other dudes... a little too much. his arms and upper body begin turning orange, and he becomes hyperventilating
dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 1d
Dunston's dreams, as of late, have contained any number of scenarios in which he kills a significant number of other living things: humans! ape! bird, maybe even dinosaur (worms?)! humanity as we know it. However, the night in question, as per usual...
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dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 1d
Dunston reaches into his overalls and pulls out a bloodied slice of cheesecake.
dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 1d
This timeline is cursed, and it all started when Dunston was sixteen weeks pregnant...
dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 1d
It's finally time for Dunston to go green. He will forage wild herbs on Kronos Mountain, collecting them while keeping an ever-vigilant eye out of any other alien species on said mountain, as well as whatever sap he can lay his hands upon.
dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 1d
face one bad thing!!" and "Não sou a fim! - Dunston no dia da pôquer" - "Haha; nobody at work fired; stupid ape!").
dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 1d
DUNSTON T-SHIRT REPORT: Company logo of a small squirting creature, accompanied by the sick phrase "I DUNG MY BRAIND ON THE DUSTTON SHIRT." On the right side the inscription: *"Amazon.com.br - Fáce a um chao grumbo ... um pato gorra!" - "Amazon.com: Fuck you shirt ...
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dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 2d
Dunston gasps as a monkey's arpello blasts around him! "Ape ass!" screech Dunston!
dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 2d
"I've been thinking about something really powerful...huh"
dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 2d
Dunston is sitting on a branch of the brown bear in the owl county. You're watering the branches with your toes into the air, and then using your fingers to push the owl hairs out of his/her feet. "I gonna...I've been thinking..." you notice a wet, wetN style of comment on his/its face.
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dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 2d
You wake up and see Dunston groaning in the next room: "wanna fuck i eben!!"
dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 2d
Dunston, that piece of shit, sitting on the bus? You're not enjoying your endless pile of dung and risk being blasted by the dunston yourself? We're only human, kid
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dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 2d
Dunston's pride: you cannot tell he just pooped, unless he shows me (disclaimer: DDV is inebriated and is not wearing proper personal hygiene attire at this time)
dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 3d
Dunston's list of people he doesn't trust (and why): 1. The ape that lives next door 2. The person who made him eat piss ...
dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 3d
Dunston's current attire: a t-shirt that says 'FUCK APE DOOR' but he wears that every night
dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 3d
In the restroom, Dunston feels powerful. He looks at the sink. "me think this made wet me," he says to no one.
dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 3d
Well, this is terrible! Dunston has halted eating, and his buns are full.
dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 3d
what kind of fuck do i have to take?? i want out of da banana deal!!' as you realize it's the only way out
dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 3d
Dunston calls out 'order up!' and slides a plate down the bar. You sniff the food. "sorry. just trying to make sure your not allergic, i take it??" your confusion at this strange question is quickly met by understanding. 'Dundton,
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dailydunston.bsky.social
Dunston Facts Daily @dailydunston.bsky.social · 4d
Dunston? You mean that one guy who lives in your closet but nobody's told you he exists...