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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀

@crossingstyx.bsky.social

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Apr 30

Greetings and salutations I am Charon, Ferryman of the Dead.
I seek to understand the land of the living so I can improve the conditions in the land of the Dead.
Im a transmasc disaster himbo of an artist, I make my own stuff and im either so cooked or im locked the fuck in, no middle im afraid.

A picture of a pretty blonde man with alot of makeup, leather and really cool round sunglasses.

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · 6d

asshole room mate found out I dont pay rent (theres reasons for this I wont get into) and proceeded to make it a me problem. then unprompted told me 'your not a guy, your a girl. fuck you.' and Im like....firstly couldent think of anything else? k
second
bro I dont wanna be here

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · 17d

Sorry about not being online, my internet hasent ben working so I went to peek and this is what greeted me
so
yea
Im not safe

its a picture of the router that lives in my room mates room, the cut grey wire is my ethernet cable

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Reposted by 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀

Madilynn the Alchemist @madilynnalchemist.bsky.social · Sep 13

Hey everyone we are going live with Litanies of Luyarnha! Featuring @athenaatlas.bsky.social @livthecyberdhole.sass-c.games @brakkaquilltusk.bsky.social @crossingstyx.bsky.social

Let's go!

twitch.tv/madilynnthea...

MadilynnTheAlchemist - Twitch

Litanites of Luyarna with @athenaatlas @quillnquarrelstudios @monarchlou @livthecyberdhole @crossingstyx_

twitch.tv

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Reposted by 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀

Madilynn the Alchemist @madilynnalchemist.bsky.social · Aug 30

IT'S TIME TO RETURN TO LUYARNHA! Featuring @brakkaquilltusk.bsky.social @athenaatlas.bsky.social @monarchlou.bsky.social @livthecyberdhole.sass-c.games @crossingstyx.bsky.social! It's finally time to get this mystery started!

twitch.tv/madilynnthea...

MadilynnTheAlchemist - Twitch

Litanites of Luyarna with @athenaatlas @quillnquarrelstudios @monarchlou @livthecyberdhole @crossingstyx_

twitch.tv

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Aug 22

unsure If I submitted but -slides-

its a sheet featuring charon! A muscular blonde anime man with some different expressive emotes and both the standard coat outfit and the leather one

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Aug 22

My friend did a post my post thing of it considering I refuse to watch it because the showrunner is a pos who sucks asmondgolds balls.

Just hearing how they fucked up lady as a character and changed the actual plot so much is infuriating.

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Aug 22

THIS
Like..If I wouldent play with you off stream why would I play on stream?

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Aug 22

when they landed they made it look like a split..poor woman broke a leg and fucked their hip up but was running on pure adrenaline.
characters are built different on god

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Aug 22

I used to work in costuming at disneyland The most on thier shit people there are the face characters..especially if their in a parade. I remember one time after I was working shows where one of them was doing gymnastics and fucking ate pavement. poped back up with a smile and finished the show

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Aug 22

YES THIS FUCKING...
IF I HAD A PENNY FOR EVERY TIME SOMEONE MISPELLED MY BOYS NAME
EVERYTIME AUTOCORRECT MADE MY COMMIT THIS CRIME
ID HAVE 'MOVE ANYONE I WANT OUT OF THEIR SHITHOLE SITUATION' MONEY.

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Aug 22

Im so sick of doing my best to scurry away from the sun to avoid melting. Im so ready for fall to be upon us

a cartoon character with the word finally written on it

Alt: a cartoon character with the word finally written on it

media.tenor.com

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Aug 22

aint nobody in this economy able to easily pick and choose where they live. Like bro if they have move outta that hellhole money they best start sharing it before they talk shit

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Aug 22

if you use the 'im in character/its a joke' card for shit like this..you need help.
Like its a character you dont see the people at disney whos job is to actually be a villian actin like this. (the dedication face performers there put in is staggering)

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Aug 22

Listen I may not be big on kids but like they are literal human beings not a disease. Nobody should be treating anyone like that.

And of course they are into..*that*

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Aug 22

Being wrong means im stupid in my head This is the direct result of literal years of conditioning
Smart is reinforced with priase, with treat
Stupid is punished with insult, with pain.

It makes me do anything I can to not be 'Stupid'
I am afraid of not knowing, not understanding.
of being stupid.

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Aug 22

its like working so hard for something and feel accomplished you did it just for you to be wrong, to be stupid, which is a whole spiral in of itself for me(which mind you was weaponized against me as long as ive ben alive)
Black and white thinking
Smart=good
stupid=bad
Right=good
Wrong=bad

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Aug 22

Im a very intelligent person and this is at constant odds with my ability to process and understand information. I think my information is correct.
it makes it hard for me to accept when im wrong because it takes me so long to learn in the first place.Its like I did all that for nothing.

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Aug 22

trying to explain that I literally cant control some things is hard, I cant help it.

And people have every right to not want to be around me, I get it. It makes sense.

I just want people to know its not personal. The tantrum is frustration and sensory overload.

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Aug 22

its like people accept just fine the cutified parts.
the hyperfixations are acceptable if your hyperfixations are digestible things like cartoon characters..comic books..stickers
When a disability shows how its disabling its too much for a lot of people.

I never asked for my brain to be born wrong

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Aug 22

autisim gets boiled down to something simple.
My symptoms are accepted if they are on the 'good' side of the pendulum.
My emotional regulation issue is endearing if im in a positive emotion thats not being controlled well.
Its sweet big doggo energy then and not being clocked as manic

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Aug 22

its not like that. Its so hard to find the words to explain..and trying to explain is just seen as an excuse.

Many mental disabilities have what im gonna call this tiktokification of them.

like its boiled down to consumer friendly 'quirks'
Like putting a cute filter over all of it.

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Aug 22

in a live conversation you will not be given that time to process, you are expected to just understand and go from there.
All the techniques in the world mean nothing when you cannot use them.

Ive hurt people I care for without meaning to, ben told I did things to justify myself but-

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Aug 22

when things dont make sense, I get upset..I get frustrated. and despite not wanting to take that frustration out on other people more often than not? it happens anyway.

I was not taught how to properly cope or handle theese things in real time. if its messages I can take my time to process-

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Aug 22

I get easily confused, its hard for me to understand things and I often have rigid thinking, like things are organized in my head in a specific way so things that contradict that often lead to confrontation.

it is hard. and often its people around me who have to deal with the fall out...the tantrum

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖓🪙💀 @crossingstyx.bsky.social · Aug 22

There always comes a moment where no matter your intention or the reasons why you say or do things it ultimately doesn't matter.
I am autistic and I have issues with self regulating intense emotions. combine that with dnd character bleed and it leads to all sorts of problems.

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