This is probably just the kid who watched the home run race in the late 90s and then a few years later saw Sammy Sosa forget how to speak English and Mark McGwire get short-term retrograde amnesia talking, but I wouldn't be shocked if someone found a pile of empty Capri Sun's in Cal Raleigh's locker

I'm reading Pilgrim in the Microworld by David Sudnow. A contemporary account of being obsessed with Breakout for the Atari 2600 in the early 80s. At one point while trying to learn a repeatable set of inputs he writes the most speedrunner thing ever:

6. MVP chants for Schwarber are fun and all, but it's not going to happen. He's not even definitively the best player on his own team

5. The gluten-free concessions were pretty good and reasonably priced. As always, it would be nice if there was more variety, but it's a lot better than some parks

4. The Phillies starting pitching is very good. Even without Wheeler

3. As a Braves fan, it was enjoyable to join Phillies fans in booing their own players

2. There have definitely been complete games shorter than the time it takes to get out of the Philly sports complex

I went to the Phillies series against the Mariners last week. Here are some thoughts:

1. I've been to 2/3s of the major league stadiums and Citizens Bank Park is one of the better ones

I have never once in my life used "maybe later" to mean anything other than "absolutely not." I wish websites and apps understood that.