Author | Lightnews

Jem Condliffe

@chloechadwell.bsky.social

41 followers 87 following 180 posts

Editor / MD of trad local weekly newspaper in Cheshire (UK). Drummer, dog owner, podcast fan. Also magazines, coffee, Motörhead, trees, rocks. Cheese. (Chloe Chadwell was the works slang for ‘it’s all good’ in the 1970s. No idea why).

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Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 1d

Worked in a bar years ago. Used to bet people for fun that a near-full schooner could hold as much as was already in. It’s half full at just below the bendy bit. (People were so easily amused pre-TikTok).

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Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 1d

We’ve got a dog and two real children and call the dog their sister. You’ll soon join in, dogs do that to your brain. I speak as someone who was once afraid of dogs but last week found myself saying “nice cut on your dog” as I petted a random poodle.

Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 1d

I certainly make up all my replies.

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Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 2d

Hmm. Hotel sounds a rum place - bloke drops dead and they don’t get any emergency services closing it down and the party carries on, and they book drinks to his room timed after he died? And how did you know his room? You’d have to ask reception, barman wouldn’t know.

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Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 2d

sounds a twat.

Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 2d

It’s a funny story but having married two vegetarians* I find it hard to believe. No milk or cheese? Vegan beer?

*Not at the same time. Got divorced.

Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 3d

True, but Wilders did better last time. Proved crap at government and paid the price. He must have hoped he’d do better and could have more control (or hoped he’d lose so he go back to sniping from the sidelines).

Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 9d

My God, you’re right. Only two minutes shorter than DSotM and WYWH. I find this hard to accept. Maybe it’s so good it flies by. I don’t play it as often as WYWH because its shortness annoys me.

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Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 9d

Marvellous. Disappointingly short. Only album I’ve bought the day it came out, too.

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Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 9d

Went to see Led Zep at Knebworth in 1979. Bloke in front of drank all day, passed out before Zep came on. Everyone lobbed empty beer tins at him, by the end he was just a sleeping mound of cans.

Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 11d

Also: this is why we (local paper) insist all deaths come from the undertaker. Wherever you live, they’ve got lax standards. Unless your dead people live overseas and left town years ago, in which case standards are lower. Never had a fake death; did have a fake engagement once. That caused a fuss.

Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 11d

Amateur. Bloke in the North East invented a whole kids’ football league, did reports every week, league tables, the lot. He only got caught when the paper asked to come to his presentation evening as he’d invited a prolific goal scorer. There’s a challenge for you. Just not at my paper, thank you

Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 16d

Always walks to heel?

Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 16d

Ex-neighbour was a police dog handler. German Shepherd and a drugs dog. The big ones may be trustworthy and loyal to you but they are scary bastards to the rest of us! Never mind crime prevention, walk one of those beasts round a classroom and no kid would commit a crime. (Drugs dog soft as shite).

Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 16d

Hello from England. Not as good as yours, but still .. (taken this morning).

Red mushrooms with white marks nestling against moss covered fallen branch and surrounded by green and fallen leaves.

View of log, near the ground and only front in focus. In background are trees, down right is row of mushrooms / fungi growing along the length of log.

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Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 17d

Sorry for your loss, but I still have the last text message my old mate from school sent, the day before he died in 2020 - what is the year delete thing? My Whatsapp goes back years. Are you sure you didn’t just delete it?

Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 17d

Bachman Turner Overweight

Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 17d

Can’t work out ages in court cases either. D.o.b. is always like 17/10/2025 and it gets about 50% wrong.

Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 18d

www.chronicleseries.com/wild-wild-we...

Wild Wild Wets: Time Mutations | Congleton Chronicle Series

www.chronicleseries.com

Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 18d

Great song, thanks! But WTF is Sting doing? That dancing is awful!

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Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 18d

Local news reporter. I run court cases through AI - copy the info from court register, tell it to run it all together and then check very carefully. Saves me a lot of time and tedium. However: it can’t add up the fines and costs, got it wrong nearly every time I tried. That’s only 3 or 4 numbers.

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Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 18d

Local newspaper here. A story we had this week was also in the Sun - theirs was factually inaccurate and mangled all the facts. Such poor journalism.

Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 18d

Go boring. Boring cars are great. Had two Hondas now got a Hyundai. Cars with no character but 100% reliable.

Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 18d

It’s ok. I have no idea about Subway. Kids laugh at me, “Dad won’t go in Subway because he doesn’t understand it.” Maybe this is why Kemi Badenoch doesn’t like sandwiches.

Jem Condliffe @chloechadwell.bsky.social · 20d

Christianity eh? He’s in for a shock when he opens a Bible. “Do not mistreat or oppress a foreigner, for you were foreigners in Egypt.”