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Cap'm Kickass

@capmkickass.bsky.social

140 followers 280 following 310 posts

Certified shit talker and teller of uncomfortable truths. Sarcasm is my spirit animal. Obviously and proudly GenX. I'm probably stoned right now.🤘🏼

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Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · Jun 8

Cap'm Kickass does indeed have a sidekick.

Meet my dog, Kaj.

That's right.... Kaj.

Kick Ass Junior.

Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 10h

GenX, this message isn't meant for us. The phrase "however the fuck we want" is in our DNA and "without apology" is our spirit animal.

Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 1d

It's amazing how many people I've said this to, and they don't get the reference.

Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 2d

Get yourself a dog outfit with an ICE hat. Call yourself a "Border Collins".

Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 2d

a close up of a man wearing a plaid shirt and a sherpa jacket making a funny face .

ALT: a close up of a man wearing a plaid shirt and a sherpa jacket making a funny face .

media.tenor.com

Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 2d

I'd love to see an escrow account set up, but the Republicans would probably raid and rob it.

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Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 2d

Hopefully, anytime someone says that they love that tattoo, @dawngg.bsky.social replies with, "I know".

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Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 2d

Because your employer won't put themselves at risk by violating federal law and withholding the taxes you owe the government.

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Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 2d

No shame means no embarrassment.

Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 3d

Wait wait wait ... forget the hair; we knew she was Bride of Frankenstein long ago.

Meanwhile, WTF was he doing to his own neck?!

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Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 3d

Mike Johnson knows all too well about back doors.

Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 3d

"Stand your ground" laws apparently only apply to Republicans. Democrats are expected to immediately surrender.

Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 3d

Unfortunately, he would just stop holding press conferences, which would reduce opportunities to publicly hold his feet to the fire.

No denying that it's a great idea, though.

Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 4d

If Egypt has even one billionaire, then Egypt has crime.

Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 5d

Because everything GOP is projection:

Xi Jinping = Donald Trump

Xi's brother = Stephen Miller

Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 7d

When IT does, I hope IT is televised.

Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 7d

And THAT person is only concerned because it means that the grift might be over.

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Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 7d

"Here, hold this blood pressure grenade, count to 10, then pull this little pin to let us know that your pressure test has been completed. I'll be right back. "

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Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 7d

Voice of Reason:

90% of house GOP agree. Therefore, 10% disagree to some level.

10% of current House GOP (219) is 22 Members.

Good luck getting anything passed with fewer than 200 votes.

Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 9d

Many much microsleeps.

Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 9d

Ooooh, I know this one!

What is the number of children Donald Trump has ra*ed at least once?

Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 9d

Alexa, define stochastic terrorism.

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Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 10d

George Santos would have a difficult time with chipped tea cup.

Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 10d

Well, there was one other thing a majority of the country was united on...

Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 11d

Their viewership is smartly going to independent journalists and outlets, such as @midastouchmedia.bsky.social and @muellershewrote.com

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Cap'm Kickass @capmkickass.bsky.social · 12d

Behold: The Greater Ear Tufted Toe Bean Floof.