Tess, lovingly fucked until she was dead dead dead
@brandysaurian.bsky.social
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avi/pfp is barbie wilde cenobite relaxing behind-the-scenes banner is shuna sassi, quill-lady of midian city's nightbreed ⛓️🪝configuration lamenter🩸 🏳️‍⚧️ im a poster child, i post four or five decades old 🫀 🖖 peace n long life the truth is in the mess ✨
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brandysaurian.bsky.social
Because I know exactly what it is like to be alone in pain in the dark scared angry feral

I know what an inconvenience is and I know what a genuine problem is

Because I'm an adult with lived experience

And it feels so fucking delicious to be able to say that
brandysaurian.bsky.social
Somebody has a $120 phone bill they needed paid I would pay it

I mean I wasn't made of money but I could finally have that bit of autonomy in my life that was impossible before

Someone needed 20 or 40 bucks For weed or groceries

Sure, done.
brandysaurian.bsky.social
But that's why when I finally got a six-figure salary job for the first time ever a job with the best benefits that I've ever been offered

I wasn't just blowing money on my health I was also paying money in mutual aid in large amounts I'd never considered before
brandysaurian.bsky.social
She paid me 500 bucks for my tooth just like that no expectation of repayment

And I have no way to tell you how

Grateful I am

For good people

Like Athena, Athena is a good fucking person

I'm the only here by the grace of good people.

My anger and will and strength alone is not enough.
brandysaurian.bsky.social
3 years ago I was living off the grace of a lot of people and none of them were my family of origin

An old old friend and I mean like an internet friend from like 25 years ago we've literally met like 2 or three times
brandysaurian.bsky.social
Th reason my teeth are fucked up is because of this weird tension problem I would actually probably have pretty perfect teeth otherwise and 3 years ago I wouldn't have had one tooth crack from stress and strain

The first time it cracked I was so poor because I had already been months unemployed
brandysaurian.bsky.social
They were really starting to undo the problems that had only previously ever come out during like one session of Hot yoga I had like my first great big feels like a painless velcro tear inside like what the fuck was that and it's just like fascia ripping away from an adhesion State
brandysaurian.bsky.social
Getting some interesting referring pain in my left arm and I'm remembering a time around 2019 in which I took a hot shower and my entire right arm went numb and it's because the hot water and the other stuff I'd been doing like being on the right prescription medicine finally for a few short months
brandysaurian.bsky.social
Also I'm very curious what's just going to reset as I sleep tonight and what I'll need to do tomorrow

Every day is a new deal from the old deck isn't it 🃏
brandysaurian.bsky.social
When you're full of pain spite is actually like

Not a great emotion to hang on to

But like a muscle cramp

Sometimes you are unable to let go of it and so

Learning to let go you know like at all levels all over all the time always

That's the goal baby

2 + 2 = 5 thx Keanu

U got it
brandysaurian.bsky.social
I feel so capable in being able to say for certain now what's been wrong with me my entire life and it was a fucking lot

This might just renew my vigor to live forever out of spite

I'm going to live forever anyway I just wasn't doing it in the name of spite
Reposted by Tess, lovingly fucked until she was dead dead dead
Reposted by Tess, lovingly fucked until she was dead dead dead
brandysaurian.bsky.social
Things that affect my body language my tone my patience everything

I mean

Shit is rough dawg
brandysaurian.bsky.social
Can you imagine me being able to literally tackle one day

Beep beep freight train coming through

But like the biggest thing that flubs interviews for me you know besides being visibly queer or whatever

Is my chronic anxiety condition just overriding what should be in normal amount of stress
brandysaurian.bsky.social
But for 3 years of the majority of my money going towards rent medicine and weed which is also medicine

I'm grateful to have been good with computer because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to get here money-wise

I don't know what's next but

If my health is better I can tackle far more options
Reposted by Tess, lovingly fucked until she was dead dead dead
brandysaurian.bsky.social
i think if you got a good horror director, a good horror cast, and divorced it from allll the star trek lore specifics

you could remake the episide
Sub Rosa as a great schlocky horror movie

let's

chat let's go fuck a ghost
TNG: Sub Rosa | Cinematic Trailer
YouTube video by Target Audience
www.youtube.com
brandysaurian.bsky.social
But if my pain anxiety and guts start reacting well then maybe I can actually start being frugal instead of whatever the fuck I've been doing for years and years

Because something's got to change soon
brandysaurian.bsky.social
The best thing I did was finally smashing my shame about spending money here and there for disability convenience

It's lasted way longer than I've wanted and I have not been able to save the money I've needed but

If you don't have your health what have you got.
brandysaurian.bsky.social
I was out probably all afternoon but had the most capable walk I've had in a very long time, there and back again as Tolkien might say

Overall pain down too and that arm feels stronger so I know a dislocation fixed itself,, fucking finally

Getting this shit figured out

smart hulk
brandysaurian.bsky.social
That area is probably so weirdly overdeveloped

And also woefully underdeveloped in certain ways but now I think I fixed the rotation problem and I feel like I had a workout and all I did was walk to the co-op and back but

Other days I can't walk back from the co-op and have to call a car
brandysaurian.bsky.social
I've had a really good orthostatic response to from stretching something out in the middle top core that diamond center of the traps right between the shoulder blades right where all that tension focuses I mean I've had a full body problem for three decades or so