Beskar Bear
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beskarbear.bsky.social
Beskar Bear
@beskarbear.bsky.social
1K followers 420 following 820 posts
On-The-Gay-side-of-bisexual nerdy bear. trekkie, star wars, D&D, Mst3k LARPer,fighter. gamer and techie. recently upgraded career to DevOps. 18+ Only
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all over the place and

extra level of funny. Kind of middling as far as a movie goes but for some reason youre rooting for it to be better. Worth a watch if youre a completionist.
7/10 auto-erotic asphyxiation jokes
The Eponymous Evil Toon doesnt get a lot of screentime, and its dubious if it got most of the budget. Oh and yea, theres tits. single tits. both tits. blood covered tits. lace covered tits... I guess this was meant for straight people but honestly being gay made the all the women boobing breastily
This film is actually one of the rare parodies of the horror genre thats kind of good, in and of itself, not just for the jokes. Some of them are kinda hit and miss but the Feelings there and its kind fo smart about the parody. It goes after everything from the generic Sorority slasher to even the
Second up on Tonights Movie slate is EVIL TOON. Oh hey Look, David Carridine stars in this one, he's going into a house, walking towards a noose... NO DONT DO IT DAVE, ITS NOT WORTH THE NUT!. Oh well who could have seen this cumming.
folklore tropes, especially good old Russian country witchiness, with a very sympathetic
main character who just cant seem to catch a break, and by that I mean is haunted by ghouls summoned from hell.
7/10 witch-beating sticks
gets increasingly drunk as he's forced by the local Lord to keep watch.
This movie actually blends folk horror well with a bit of dark comedy, including a scene at the seminary which, swap out the seminary for a College frat house, seems straight out of Animal House.I love the blend of common
and the daughter of the local lord

and guess who gets chosen from the seminary to keep vigil over her body for three nights. What follows is a phantasmagorical series of nights where the undead girl flies around the room and tries to corrupt and kill the priest, who, True to russian fashion,
Tonights Horror ISNT Shock and Schlock, we've got FOLK HORROR tonigh. The name of this film is VIY and its Russian Folk Horror. VIY follows the story of a priest who gets ridden like a horse by a witch whom he then beats to death with a stick. well Oops this old hag is actually a young girl and the
And my point is that it already does and OPs view is limited and gatekeeping & is inherently lessering people who play outside of that view. There are RAW using social skills, tool proficiencies & magic to create that scene. Combat is *part* of dnd. Not its entirety. nor is it its raison d'etre.
Cool, but they're having fun using it on a guitar, people like the way it sounds, and their choices dont make them "less than" as a musician. They dont have to stop playing bc you think there are better instruments for their goals. Oh look they're playing it with their teeth now.
Keep seeing posts shitting on dnd "because the rules are only meant to kill monsters and explore dungeons" so saying its anything else is misleading. Fuck your gatekeeping. Killing monsters & exploring dungeons are part of telling a story. So are tool proficiency checks and social interaction rolls.
Sorry how is the argument asinine? If a person is playing guitar badly, yea its good to want them to play better, but thats not what you are saying. You are saying "sorry the guitar was only meant to play classical music, strumming faster, tuning different & playing other chords goes against that."
yea I remember when I had a player who wanted to roll performance checks & tool proficiency checks with their instrument to start a party in a tavern to celebrate a characters in game birthday I had to tell them no because those rules are only meant to be used to kill monsters and explore dungeons
gratuitous, & loved the surgeon design. Plenty of shock & schlock in this one.

Pleasantly surprised as an end to the series before the remake happened, this felt a lot more like a labor of love on behalf of Tunnicliffe to the point I may have to check out his other films.
6/10 Steampunk typewriters
American Horror Story: Hotel 3 years earlier)

but enjoyable none the less, the personality and SFX of Pinhead and the Auditor was good, and true to form, no happy endings. not even for the cenobites this time. Loved the designs of the adjudicator and the Jury, the blood sprayed tits was kinda
I appreciate the expansion in Lore especially the diferent factions, though TBH since the cenobite realm was described as Hell-like and not actually Hell, with the cenobites as 'outsiders' but hey still a step up from the last films. The detectives arc was kind of obvious (especially if you saw
Finally the last in the Hellraiser series before the Reboot, Hellraiser: judgement. wait.... its... kinda good? maybe my brain is mush after the previous abysmal installments but I kinda got caught up in this one. Props to Gary J. Tunnicliffe who wrote and did props for the early Hellraisers.
Bradley passed on this film, so we dont even get a familiar

face in Pinhead, but at least I can tell this new actor tried, and did a decent job with what he had.
3/10 weeks to shoot. No really this was shot in 3 weeks after two weeks of script writing.
a hardcore hedonist and libertine,

in this film he's a white middle class entitled guy who's.... bored on a trip to mexico. jesus christ who wrote this shit checks the movie oh the Weinsteins. Makes more sense. There's about 5 minutes of decent movie here at the very end and thats it. Even Doug
and essentially
just ripping off the storyline of the first Hellraiser with none of the sfx, aesthetic, & whats probably the cast of some "Housewives of" show, complete with acting ability. At least they made the bad guy a whining little shit that I wanted to die. In the first movie the bad guy was
Next up in the Hellraiser Film Marathon is Hellraiser: Revelations. Turns out there's a lower rung on the ladder than cash-grab and that rung is "we need a script made in two weeks so we can keep the IP" movie. Holy Shit, are we really doing a found footage Hellraiser movie. have we sunk that low?
How the fuck do you "accidentally" gouge
out your own throat? Beats me. there's a weak attempt to tie it in at the end but its insult to injury at this point, this was an original story they once again shoehorned Hellraiser Lore into.
3/10 indestructible nokia cellphones
This isnt even a fucking real Hellraiser
movie. all the visions of Pinhead and the murders are just drug induced hallucinations by the Scream rip-off, Temu David Carridine villain, who blames his son's suicide on the aforementioned videogame and his friends he played it with.
on Newgrounds from the same time. Oh well. The movie consist of a barrage of 00's technology & dark pseudo gothic aesthethic which admittedly is a bit nostalgic but doesnt quite make the movie worth watching. there's also like a lacroix flavoring amount of Matrix inspiration here. the big kicker?