Author | Lightnews

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · 4d

Home security

1

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · 7d

Historic update: The White House gets its own exclusive nightclub — The Disco @ Club T.

1

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · 19d

Neighborhood protest meetup every Thursday ☕️✊
Espresso first, revolution second. Childcare provided.

#AntifaCafe #EspressoAndEquality #CommunityVibes #CaffeineAndResistance #MatchaNotMAGA

2

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · 27d

Heritage Foundation built Project 2025. Trump’s team runs it. Courts back it. DEI dismantled, agencies gutted. Puppet masters in plain sight.

1

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · Sep 28

I’ve heard that Boston has amazing beer.

4

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · Sep 21

Trump instructs Pope Leo XIV to deify Charlie Kirk on the same day as the Rapture. Double-booked apocalypse. No refunds.

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · Sep 11

Never heard of the guy before yesterday ~ and won't remember him tomorrow.

1

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · Aug 27

Wise words from Fearless Leader

1

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · Aug 15

1867: 2¢ an acre. 2025: trading Alaska for world peace. Some call it diplomacy, we call it the ultimate flip.”

#TwoCentPeaceDeal #NobelPrizeGuaranteed #FromPenniesToPeace
#ArtoftheDeal

1

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · Aug 11

Trump solves homeless issue in DC

1

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · Aug 5

Lowe’s sign says it all:
“Was $229” → “$249.”

That’s not a sale – that’s Trump’s tariffs hitting your wallet. Thanks, Don.

1 2

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · Aug 2

Congrats MAGA. Americans have now paid $150 BILLION in import taxes or tariffs this year – with July alone hitting $28 B. Importers pay first, but it’s your grocery bill that climbs. Foreign countries? Still paying nothing.

1

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · Aug 1

Scotland just approved one of the world’s biggest offshore wind farms—right next to Trump’s golf course.
The “ugly monsters” he raged about will now power millions of homes.

#Scotland #WindPower #Renewables #Climate #OffshoreWind #Trump #Golf #EnergyNews #CleanEnergy #BerwickBank

3

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · Jul 22

For @scalzi.com — an irreverent crossword tribute to Old Man’s War.
SCALZI is 1-Across. Totally random. Definitely not a Heinlein remix. Probably. 🧠

2

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · Jul 17

Today’s data drop:
A 1.2M-child Danish study found no link between aluminum in vaccines and autism—or any chronic illness.

Peer-reviewed. Publicly funded.
No drama. Just evidence.

📄 www.cidrap.umn.edu/childhood-va...

1

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · Jul 17

Trump’s big win: Coke switches to real cane sugar 🇺🇸🥳
One tiny catch—Brazil supplies most of that sugar.
And he just slapped them with a 50% tariff.

So yeah, “The Real Thing”… now really expensive.
✨Open Happiness. Close your bank account.✨

📍Posted from Tariff Town, USA

#caneSugar #CocaCola

1

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · Jul 11

Otisville: Trump’s dream resort, now a reality—thanks to the spontaneous oceanfront upgrade caused by an Iranian nuclear mishap and a very talkative fault line.

Gold towers. Eagle fountains.
A 300-ft orange Superman with a “T” on his chest.
Luxury for patriots. Or fugitives.

#Otisville #SuperTrump

1

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · Jul 6

Big news from Florida! 🌿✨
Gator Creek Resettlement Resort is redefining the transition experience - nestled in the heart of our nation’s wetlands.
Families. Fresh air. Freedom.
It’s not goodbye - it’s a guided new beginning.
Opening soon, with plans to expand coast-to-coast. 🐊💚

1

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · Jun 29

White House unveils new DEI motto: “We’re all equal… but some colors are definitely more equal than others.”

Press Sec Karoline Leavitt says the rainbow lights reflect “a fully performative spectrum of justice.” They’ll stay up “as long as they’re polling well.”

#AISatire #Pride2025

1

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · Jun 21

The Rose Garden is out.
The Gilded Garden of Greatness™ is in.
Golden spirals, a fountain of ambition, and the quiet hum of self-satisfaction.
Presidential landscaping, now with 24k flair.

#WhiteHouse #GildedGarden #GoldStandard #BlueskyNews #ExecutiveGlowUp

1

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · Jun 15

Will the Washington parade attendees have to return their money and hats now?

2

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · Jun 15

No photos. Just memories.

I was the driver.
Miles of traffic heading downtown.
Streets, freeways packed. All ages. Determined. Angry.
But peaceful.
Few cops. No violence.
Only people—flooding toward the park.
A beautiful sight to see.

No kings.

60,000 strong

#NoKings #WaterfrontPark #SanDiego

2

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · Jun 4

Now entering active duty:
⚓ USNS Adolf Hitler
⚓ USS Tucker Carlson
⚓ USNS Jesus Christ
⚓ USS Ayn Rand
⚓ USNS Joseph McCarthy
⚓ USS Khan Noonien Singh
⚓ USNS Gomer Pyle
⚓ USS Robert E. Lee
⚓ USNS Viktor Orbán

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · Jun 3

BREAKING: Navy renames woke ships.
Tubman, RBG, Milk—gone.
Now launching: Hitler, Tucker, Ayn Rand, Khan Noonien Singh.
Obvious Harvey Milk replacement?
J. Edgar Hoover
One nation under Ayn Rand 🇺🇸🦅
#Satire #UnwokeFleet

3

Bret @bamarquis.bsky.social · Jun 2

Trump buried his ex by the first hole to declare the property a cemetery. Now it’s tax-exempt.
Yes, the whole golf course. Yes, this is real.

#TrumpFamilyValues #TaxAvoidance