Author | Lightnews

Azure Eye News

@azureeyenews.bsky.social

310 followers 110 following 2.2K posts

All the libel that's fit to print! The finest newspaper in the New Mexico Territory; serving the charming yokels and hucksters of Varmint Vale and the greater Colorado Plateau desert, and the various things that creep about the sands under the stars.

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Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 7h

If you get rid of the head you can join the staff

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Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 7h

It really is! Unfortunately now that I'm "a responsible adult" and not just a college professor I have to "dress appropriately" which is the dumbest concept of all time.

Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 7h

I see your picture of the tufted titmouse captured me in my blue-hair period

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Reposted by Azure Eye News

old roadside pics @roadside.xor.blue · 14h

anna's castle (law office), 6th avenue, ouray, colorado, 1991

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Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 1d

It was a neat touch that you guys had a second team dressed in big comical black and white striped uniforms with the little raccoon masks climbing over the back wall of the barracks while everyone else was out training in front. Team two did it so fast compared to the trainees! Very motivational.

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Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 1d

The milk-bone swizzle stick is a nice touch

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Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 1d

More than late enough

Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 1d

Can't be scarier than a horse, Horse.

Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 1d

As a lesbian, seeing boobs is good.

Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 1d

It's me. I'm lesbians.

Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 1d

This is a bullshit study unless they have an equal amount of data tracking women's lifespans. Lesbians everywhere would volunteer for this!

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Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 1d

This is amazing.

Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 1d

May we suggest a fine poncho?

a man wearing a sombrero and a poncho stands in front of confetti

ALT: a man wearing a sombrero and a poncho stands in front of confetti

media.tenor.com

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Reposted by Azure Eye News

old roadside pics @roadside.xor.blue · 2d

mt. carmel to kanab rt. 89, utah, 1987

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Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 2d

Yes. That's why they're on the map and numbered. You can go anywhere, at all, on the map.

Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 2d

Anyway, you reflect that it would have made far, FAR more sense to wait to come back here until you had some reason to do so, or literally any idea at all what you're looking for. You should probably get on that.

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Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 2d

You pause to momentarily consider whether it would have made far, far more sense to go somewhere else. Somewhere new. But then you also consider that maybe the court-mandated therapist had a point about you having a fear of new experiences.

Maybe you should GO SOMEWHERE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN BEFORE.

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Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 2d

Seconds later you have the worst realization of your entire life: the alcohol is turning to water on your lips. The Marquis appears to have cursed you with sobriety. Fuuuuuuuck.

You look around for any new evidence. Well, uhhhhh, nope.

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Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 2d

You plop some change down on the bar to cover the bottle of... well, shit, let's go for the good stuff. You're about to get pulled into Hell, after all. Absinthe!

Man, you really don't like the way the dead snake you now know is Marquis Forneus is glaring at you from his sealed bottle of rum.

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Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 2d

VACATION DESTINATIONS: You head back to the Drunken Sea Serpent, inexplicably once again choosing to return to a place that you were in less than a half hour ago despite having found no new evidence that would point to anything here. Still, that's free will, you guess.

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Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 2d

The single biggest failure of American leftism is the belief that laws, morals, and rights are real things and not just pretend. All of politics is, fundamentally, Hobbes.

Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 2d

A lot of the plains will probably fall into the khanate. Western border'll probably be the Colorado Plateau and the great desert. Interested to see whether the Mormons or the Arizonans end up in control of deseret.

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Reposted by Azure Eye News

New town every hour @townsusa.bsky.social · 2d

Salem, New Mexico
Pop: 650

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salem,_New_Mexico

Images: https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=115758371
https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=18148021
https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=94688034

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Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 2d

Did he say yes?

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Azure Eye News @azureeyenews.bsky.social · 2d

Honestly I figure the area immediately surrounding a lot of the lakes will end up Canadian, if just because control over the water reservoir will be a priority for them.

The khanate will be Big Sky Country, because that's horse space.

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