Aurora, all too Aurora
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auroragirl.bsky.social
Aurora, all too Aurora
@auroragirl.bsky.social
2.2K followers 640 following 21K posts
transfigured woman, mathematician through and through, survivor of Bad Things, barbie nine jobs, the silliest of geese, multidimensionally queer, just as fucked up as they say
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yes i am totally a maverick:

i added a little heart on top of my dbt diary card column for the day ❤️

if i had known and been allowed to transition as a little kid, my god i would have drawn hearts on Everything 💕🥰
Reposted by Aurora, all too Aurora
still not over getting the front skytrain seat with the sunrise this morning

almost enough to make you forget how expensive it is to stay here
calvin klein up top, uniqlo below!
sexually suggestive label???

okay, fair enough

let it be transsexually suggestive though, the wonders of hrt…
i just really like having hair like this you know?? 🥰🥹
i mean they’re majority breast tissue, not fat — lobes and lobules, milk ducts, and things of that nature
and explicitly ask if i should open it or not, every time (even when they have told me to open anything)

maybe i am too strict on this rule? but it honestly feels like a good hill to die on
and i was SHOCKED, like what the fuck, isn’t it literally a crime to open someone else’s mail??? how could anyone do that??!!

anyways, i have never opened any mail addressed to any of our kids no matter how young they were, unless they are away from home in which case i text a photo of the outside
in first year university on my dorm floor there was a guy who got in big trouble with his parents for … i don’t recall, maybe a secret girlfriend? … which they found out about when they opened mail addressed to him at their house
you know when little kids want to be all of a teacher and a writer and a film-maker and a computer programmer and a ballerina, at the same time, when they grow up?

with adhd you don’t ever have to grow out of that!! ✨🎉❤️
learning their native language, finding out about their life in general, laughing together that sort of normal cishetero stuff
even with uhhhhh… pornography, the particular glamour models i would fixate on i obviously felt desire for, but part of me would also be studying their hairstyles and eyebrows and how they smiled etc, and the fantasies that popped up would include having coffee together in a cafe,…
interesting. for myself there is very much a cross-over that i didn’t understand before transition, and definitely for some women it was a “be” attraction that didn’t elicit desire per se so i interpreted it as wanting to be their close friend / adopted sibling / *something*??!
but basically there’s not much really any clear pharmacological help for personality disorders like mine
mirtazapine seemed to help for a while but the side effects were pretty bad on the appetite side, and also didn’t address the actual problems (still undiagnosed)

right now i am tapering off of an antipsychotic, quetiapine, which also can have antidepressant and mood stabilization effects…
no… when i was first hospitalized that was one of the first things they tried of course, but it really wasn’t the right intervention and didn’t shift the “depression” (since my mental illness was actually way deeper rooted and multifaceted than that)
but my first serious attempt derailed after i kept wanting to add multiple numeral types, more accents, more symbol sets, other alphabets like greek and cyrillic

and meanwhile hadn’t even properly worked out kerning for the basics

then my life got busier 😁
oh i always wanted to since discovering as a little kid how on the atari 8-bits you can make a custom set of 8x8 bitmaps to replace the display character set, so i would spend ages plotting things on graph paper and converting the binary to decimal numbers to type in as BASIC DATA statements…
(also my brain: hey you should write a novel set in a custom typeface, and take that bookbinding class, and)
Reposted by Aurora, all too Aurora
should i make a “teach yourself to juggle, it’s not that hard i promise” video?
right? that sounds like very good advice—

(my brain: for anyone else, but c’mon i can do this, it’s gotta be easier than designing a typeface)

—thanks
Reposted by Aurora, all too Aurora
one's own individual insecurities are a personal battle to resolve so it is wrong to expect strangers to manage your emotions for you