Author | Lightnews

Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 11h

In America, if you make fun of a war criminal, some guy sends you photos of your child’s preschool

Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 2d

the people at the rental place tried to give us a Maserati and we were like, “-absolutely not” might as well hand my purse to the first thief that comes along

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Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 2d

the Mercedes GLA rental we drove in LA had no function on the steering wheel for skipping the track. If you wanted to skip songs you had to do so via the touch console or your phone. Crap design

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Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 4d

Anyway, you should have seen me loading that fucking rental car

a cartoon of ralph from the simpsons sits on a bus with the words " chuckles i 'm in danger " below him

Alt: a cartoon of ralph from the simpsons sits on a bus with the words " chuckles i 'm in danger " below him

media.tenor.com

Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 4d

I’m not a fan of rentals where the owner lives on-site, so “secret room full of racist figurines, postcards, and books on Hitler” is just another reason to add to my list of why we’ll never stay in a place like that again

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Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 4d

Just so relieved our host waited until our last day in LA before showing us their secret room full of extremely racist Jim Crow-era memorabilia

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Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 5d

Trust me when I say that there’s a two block radius around this thing where your appetite completely disappears. Takes a few hours for it to come back

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Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 5d

Just a rancid, unappetizing, offensive building. Horrible aura, like if norovirus had an address

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Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 6d

rizz

A photo of a BMW convertible with California vanity plates that say “SAPPHCC”

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Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 10d

my entire philosophy with driving is “go around me, what’s the problem?” And it’s so far serving me well in LA. I don’t care if you go in front of me. Please do. Driving feels like navigating a line for the meat grinder, I don’t care if you cut while we’re waiting in line for the meat grinder

Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 10d

I don’t understand not letting someone merge when their lane ends. Where are they supposed to go? Why can’t they just go in front of you? I don’t think this is a situation where anyone can be “first”

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Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 15d

does the Burbank airport always smell like 🐈 and feet?

Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 16d

night camera ones with nocturnal creatures, ones that look like 90’s Sony handycam footage, ones with crowds of people jumping and disappearing into swimming pools, fat people stuck in water slides (very mean), children riding wild beasts

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Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 16d

the different genres of AI videos that are coming out is like watching a shapeshifter melt through their different identities, all while in excruciating pain

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Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 16d

why are you bitter about someone going on vacation? You’re not their boss

Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 16d

unfollowing someone for posting vacation pics is landlord behavior

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Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 18d

I think a lot of people would find peace if they could accept that they don’t need to convince other people to like the same cultural content they consume.

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Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 18d

“I don’t like this song very mu-“

[Swiftie popping out of the wall, body fully painted like the surrounding decor]: “you should actually listen to Taylor’s lyrics and what she’s actually saying, don’t be like all the other woman-haters out there, just because she’s success-“

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Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 20d

Those are your two options if you wish to be a white girl content creator

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Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 20d

There’s two types of white girl content creators: the ones who dress as the Lorax and go someplace public, and the ones who make videos about needing to poop

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Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 23d

Timothee chalamet/shaun king piobic dropping in 2027

Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 24d

Jared Leto is what Charlie Manson would have become if he had gotten that record deal

Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 24d

shout out to the guy in FoPo holding it down with the “Cops and ICE beat their wives and kids” sign

Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 26d

well best of luck to you! I used the peace of mind from doing my personal and civic duty to rest and hydrate as much as possible

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Crystal Contreras-Atencio @atenciocrystal.bsky.social · 26d

I got flu/covid/hep B on Monday and I finally feel at full energy today. It wasn’t miserable, just …sluggish

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