Author | Lightnews

Andrew Pettke

Andrew Pettke

@andrewpettke.bsky.social

2 followers 1 following 47 posts

Comedian + WINNER of Food Network’s Great Food Truck Race | improv sketch actor | @podcastootc HOST | @mystikkamasalafoodtruck | 🎭🌈🎙

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · May 14

¡El arte del trato!

🇺🇸 > this 💩 > 🍊💨

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · May 14

¡El arte del trato!

🇺🇸 > this 💩 > 🍊💨

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · May 14

¡El arte del trato!

🇺🇸 > this 💩 > 🍊💨

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · May 14

¡El arte del trato!

🇺🇸 > this 💩 > 🍊💨

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · May 14

¡El arte del trato!

🇺🇸 > this 💩 > 🍊💨

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · May 8

MATH TIME!

Estimates for the annual cost to end world #hunger is around $40 billion per year.

There are approximately 2.4 billion #Christians worldwide.

That’s $16.67 per Christian, annually, to #ENDWORLDHUNGER.

But y’all over here building mega #churches with fog machines, lasers & lobbyists.

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · May 2

TRUMP KILLED BIG BIRD.

Y’ALL VOTED FOR THIS!!!!! (Not me!)

A sad day for @pbs @newshour @pbskids and @npr #controlthemedia #crashthemarket #trump #publicbroadcasting

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · Apr 23

Is it concerning to anyone else that #RFK looks a dried-up used oil rag???

Why are we talking health advice from this guy? 🤦

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · Apr 21

It’s time for The Vatican to update their DEI hiring policy, right?

- Asking for Jesus.

#vatican #Vaticandobetter

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · Apr 21

If you’re NOT a huge fan of Shri Narendra #Modi, don’t worry, #JDvance is in India to meet him.

LOL

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · Apr 16

34 felonies in the White House while WORKING street vendors getting arrested/deported is ALL you need to know about the current state of the States. 😔 🇺🇸 #USA

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · Apr 6

EGO is EVERYTHING!

😂😂😂👏👏👏 😂😂
Extra points for audience participation!!! #snl

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · Apr 6

Sorry… I had the hands-off thing in my phone for.. tomorrow… 😬

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · Apr 2

RIP #ICEMAN

As a little gay boy growing up in Texas, those shirtless volleyball scenes definitely made me realize who I was, but also that being in the sun, shirtless, muscled and oiled-up, was a lifestyle I wanted to eventually always embrace.

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · Mar 24

I’m sure your 3 followers love you less than Jesus. Thanks!!! Have a blessed day!

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · Mar 24

🤖 🧌

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · Mar 23

Serious question: then where did they all 💩 and 💦????

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · Mar 23

See a psychiatrist…. Yikes. You def NEED Jesus.

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · Mar 23

Your spacing and lack of punctuation is a sign of the devil. Bless your little sad heart.

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · Mar 22

I hope Jesus makes room for your type. 🙏

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · Mar 22

MY GEORGE FOREMAN STORY:

When I was at ESPN, we shared an elevator ride, exchanged pleasantries, [then, we rode up for 3-4 more floors, complete silence….]
until I said, almost TOO loudly/robotically, “ I. HAVE. YOUR. GRILL.”… to which, after a pause, we both laughed, he said “thank you very much”

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · Mar 21

#tencommandments

I honestly can’t imagine identifying with a religion SO FRAGILE that they have to groom and indoctrinate children, at early development stages, rather than just teach them about ALL religious/agnostic/atheist/etc viewpoints. 🤔 🧐 🤨 #texas #texasbeingtexas

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · Mar 20

#USA = Uneducated States of America

www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/tru...

#uneducatedstatesofamerica

Trump signs executive order to begin dismantling Department of Education

President Trump has taken aim at the Department of Education, but shutting down the department entirely would require an act of Congress.

www.cbsnews.com

Andrew Pettke @andrewpettke.bsky.social · Mar 13

I can’t wait to vote for Pete in 2028 ✅

#gaypres

Reposted by Andrew Pettke

William Gibson @greatdismal.bsky.social · Mar 10